I'm Gonna Hire a Wino (Live) chords by
David Frizzell

N/A

Key: C major

Verse 1
C C 
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I came crawling home last night,
like many nights before
I finally made it to my
feet, as she opened up the door
And she said,
"You're not gonna do this anymore"

Verse 2
C C 
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She said, "I'm gonna hire a
F F 
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wino, to decorate our home
C C 
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So you'll feel more at ease here,
G G 
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and you won't need to roam
C C 
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We'll take out the dining room table,
F F 
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and put a bar along that wall
C C 
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G G 
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And a neon sign to point the way to our bathroom,
C C 
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down the hall"

Verse 3
C C 
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She said, "Just bring your Friday paycheck,
F F 
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and I'll cash them all right here
C C 
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And I'll keep on tap for all your friends,
their favorite kinds of beer
G G 
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C C 
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And for you, I'll always keep in stock,
F F 
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those soft aluminum cans
C C 
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And when you're feeling macho,
G G 
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C C 
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you can crush them like a man"

Verse 4
C C 
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She said, "We'll rip out all the carpet,
F F 
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and put sawdust on the floor
C C 
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Serve hard boiled eggs and pretzels,
G G 
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and I won't cook, no more
C C 
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There'll be Monday night football on TV,
F F 
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above the bar
C C 
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And a pay phone in the hallway,
G G 
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C C 
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when your friends  can't find their car"
D D 
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She said, "I'm gonna hire a

Verse 5
wino, to
G G 
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decorate our home
D D 
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So you'll feel more at ease here,
A A 
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and you won't have to roam
D D 
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We'll take out the dining room table,
G G 
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and put a bar along that wall
D D 
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A A 
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And a neon sign to point the way to our bathroom,
D D 
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down the hall"

Verse 6
D D 
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She said, "Now, you'll get friendly service,
G G 
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and for added atmosphere
D D 
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I'll slip on something sexy,
A A 
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and I'll cut it clear to here
D D 
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Then you can slap my bottom,
G G 
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every time you tell a joke
D D 
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Just as long as you keep tipping, well,
A A 
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D D 
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I'll laugh until you're broke"

Verse 7
D D 
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She said, "Instead of family quarrels,
G G 
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we'll have a bar- room brawl
D D 
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When the Ham's bear say's its closing time,
A A 
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you won't have far to crawl
D D 
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And when you run out of money, then,
G G 
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you'll have me to thank
D D 
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You can sleep it off next morning,
A A 
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D D 
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while I'm putting it in the bank"

Verse 8
E E 
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She said, "I'm gonna hire a wino, and
A A 
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you decorate our home
E E 
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So you can feel more at ease here,
B B 2
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and you won't need to roam
E E 
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When you and your friends get off from work,
A A 
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and have a powerful thirst
E E 
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Well, there won't be any reason why,
B B 2
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you can't stop off here first"
E E 
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Verse 9
She said, "I'm gonna hire a
A A 
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wino, and you decorate our home
E E 
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So you'll feel more at ease here,
B B 2
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and you won't need to roam
E E 
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We'll take out the dining room table,
A A 
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and put a bar along that wall
E E 
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B B 2
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And a neon sign to point the way to our bathroom,
E E 
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down the hall"

Verse 10
A A 
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She said, "I'm gonna hire a wino, and
you decorate our home
So you'll feel more at ease here,
E E 
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and you won't have to roam
B B 2
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We'll take out the dining room table,
E E 
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B B 2
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E E 
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and put a bar along that wall

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