Freaky Tales chords by
Too $Hort

N/A•1 views•

Key: E major•

Verse 1

D

D

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These are the tales, the freaky tales...

Bm

Bm

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The tales that I tell so well...

D

D

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I met this girl, her name was Joan

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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C#

C#

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She loved the way I rocked

D

D

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Dm

Dm

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the microphone

D

D

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E

E

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Bm

Bm

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When I met Joan,

D

D

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I took her home

Bm

Bm

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She was just like a doggy

D

D

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all on my bone

Bm

Bm

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I met another girl,

D

D

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C#

C#

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her name was Ann

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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All she wanted was

Dm

Dm

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D

D

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to freak with a man

Em

Em

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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When I met Ann, I soaked her pans

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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We ended up freakin'

D

D

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by garbage can

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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C#

C#

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The next young freak I met was Red

Bm

Bm

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I took her to the house

D

D

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and she gave me head

Em

Em

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Bm

Bm

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C#

C#

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D

D

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She likes to freak was all she said

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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We jumped in the sheets

D

D

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and we broke my bed

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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There's another girl, her name is Mary

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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C#

C#

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D

D

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Talked about sex and the girl acted scary

Bm

Bm

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I heard she was freakin' for

D

D

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C#

C#

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my homeboy Jerry

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Took her to the house and

I popped that cherry

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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C#

C#

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Young and tender, sweet Denise

Bm

Bm

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C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Get her in the bed and

Dm

Dm

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D

D

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the girl's a beast

E

E

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Bm

Bm

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C#

C#

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D

D

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I tell you, homeboy, If

C#

C#

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you get a piece

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Em

Em

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She only talks about signin' a lease

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I met this tender, her name was Lori

Bm

Bm

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And a X-rated movie movie

D

D

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wouldn't tell her story

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Em

Em

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She had a twin sister, her name was Lisa

D

D

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Bm

Bm

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And just like Lori,

D

D

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she's a real dick pleaser

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Bm

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D

D

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My girlfriend's name was Michelle,

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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E

E

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I freaked

C#

C#

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her well

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Her pussy got hotter than flames in hell

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I geed this girl, her name was Tammy

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I didn't want to do it cause

Em

Em

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the bitch was flammy

Bm

Bm

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She had a best friend,

D

D

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C#

C#

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her name was Jane

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I pulled to the side and

I spitted that game

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Bm

Bm

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I met a lot of freaks in my lifespan

D

D

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Freaked one night with a girl named Pam

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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The very next day I saw

her with her man

Bm

Bm

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One week passed and I

D

D

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was in her again

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I had an old tender, her name was Janie

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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She was thirty-two and and

D

D

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I was only eighteen

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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She likes to freak, she's just a fiend

Bm

Bm

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It really didn't matter when

D

D

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I saw her in jeans

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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C#

C#

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I want to big freak, fat and slobby

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I kick on back and I watch her mouth

E

E

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Two tons of fun, big mama jama

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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A country-girl from from Alabama

Bm

Bm

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I met this girl,

D

D

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Em

Em

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her name was Betty

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Her pussy got wet and

it smelled like death

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I was tired as hell, I was drippin' sweat

Em

Em

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Bm

Bm

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But I was all up in her try

D

D

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in' to hold my breath

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Bake and shake us,

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I met this freak in Vegas

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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She said her name was Donna

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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She was a pretty little freak from China

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I said I don't pimp or gigolo

Bm

Bm

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I'm havin' so much money

D

D

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that I don't need a hoe

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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You can break yourself but

you can't break me

E

E

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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You nev er met a player like $hort, baby

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I knew a dick sucker named Betty-Jo

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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Took Took her to my home

D

D

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and we did it on the floor

Em

Em

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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The girl got freaky and

I tell you more:

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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She was down on her knees

D

D

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beggin' to blow

E

E

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Bm

Bm

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She's like another

D

D

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freak named Ren`

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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You get her alone and she'll

make your day

E

E

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Bm

Bm

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C#

C#

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D

D

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Like Burger King, she knows the play

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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But a freak like Ren`, you can

have it your way...

Bm

Bm

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These are the tales,

D

D

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Bm

Bm

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the freaky

D

D

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Dm

Dm

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D

D

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tales...

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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These are the tales that I tell so well...

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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C#

C#

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I met this girl, thick as hell

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Only sixteen, said her name was Linell

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I took her to my house, I could not wait

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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Her shit was much tighter

D

D

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than Central Safe

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Let me tell you this since we talkin' young

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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I met another girl,

D

D

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said her name was Yvonne

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Always talkin' about havin' fun

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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Once again in the bed

D

D

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I got it goin' on

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I'm Sir Too $hort,couldn't be no punk

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I try to get funky like female funk

Bm

Bm

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So when you see me comin'

D

D

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or see me goin'

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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I keep my money,

D

D

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let the hoes keep throwin'

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I once met a tender, she did it for free

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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On the Foothill bust number forty-three

Bm

Bm

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All All the way on the back

D

D

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she was workin' me

Bm

Bm

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Had my big beatbox and

D

D

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A

A

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E

E

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I was jammin' the beat

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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C#

C#

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I met this freak named aunt

Bm

Bm

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Winell

D

D

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Macked on the baby like an ice-cold vet

vet

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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C#

C#

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Everythin' she had is what I get

Bm

Bm

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Cause I'm Too $hort, baby,

D

D

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I don't play that shit

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I met another freak, her name was Rita

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Baby thought that $hort just might eat her

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I told her like this, she can suck my peter

Bm

Bm

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C#

C#

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D

D

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Or even go home cause I knew

I didn't need her

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Scratched her name off

Dm

Dm

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D

D

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C#

C#

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my telephone book

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Never again I took a second look

Bm

Bm

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Cause the next young freak,

D

D

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her name was Sharon

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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She kept lookin', well,

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I kept stairin'

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Her booty was stuffed in the

jeans she was wearin'

E

E

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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She never left, she cutted out

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I know you all know what

I'm talkin' about

Bm

Bm

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There's a freak named Shane,

D

D

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such a sinner

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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She smokes that pipe and

D

D

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she's gettin' thinner

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Shane is cool but her mind is gone

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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One fat rock and it's goin' on

Bm

Bm

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She had another buddy,

D

D

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D

D

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came by my place

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Thick ass bitch, said her name was Grace

D

D

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Bm

Bm

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She walked in the

D

D

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door wearin' a lace

D

D

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Bm

Bm

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You shoulda seen that look

D

D

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A

A

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that was on my face

Bm

Bm

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She's like this tender named

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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Belinda

D

D

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Homeboys call her Belinda the Blender

E

E

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Bm

Bm

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She gave head like she made it up

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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She was twenty years old with

Em

Em

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a big round butt

E

E

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D

D

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D

D

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Had a girl slick like olive oil

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Her father was rich and the girl

was spoiled

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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When she got mad he blood would boil

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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But I rapped her off like I'm lookin'

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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a toy...

Bm

Bm

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These are the tales,

D

D

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D

D

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C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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the freaky tales...

D

D

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The tales that I tell so well...

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Shockedy life, Friday night,

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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it's goin' on Too

$hort

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Three weeks ago I met this freak

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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She followed me around

D

D

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like Mary's sheep

Bm

Bm

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I hitted around the corner

D

D

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and when she came

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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I grabbed her by the arm

D

D

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E

E

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and I asked her name

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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She said it was Nina and

her man's in Santa Rita

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I took her to my home and

homeboy, I geed her

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Set her on the way the very

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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next way

D

D

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Playboy $hort was ready to play

Bm

Bm

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I bumped to this girl,

D

D

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her name was Roseanne

E

E

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Bm

Bm

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We hitted the motel and

D

D

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E

E

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got it goin' on

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Holiday Inn to the break of dawn

Bm

Bm

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When I took baby home,

D

D

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I freaked her mom

D

D

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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C#

C#

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I knew this tender named Shanie

Bm

Bm

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I took her to the house

D

D

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and let her freak on me

E

E

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Baby was a fan, she loved my beat

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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But I wouldn't raise my leg

D

D

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E

E

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to let her kiss my feet

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I met this freak named Yolanda

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Rolled baby doll like

D

D

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a brand new Honda

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I was on top and she was up under

D

D

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Bm

Bm

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The bed hitted the wall

D

D

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and it sounded like thunder

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I once had a datewith girl

named Kitty

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Bm

Bm

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She was so fine with big fat tiddies

D

D

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All night long she was actin' shitty

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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So I macked on baby like

E

E

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Bm

Bm

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I was Frank Nitti

D

D

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D

D

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There's another girl, her name is Rose

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I use to roll baby like brand new Volvos

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I never saw Rose wearin' clothes

D

D

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Bm

Bm

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She's a pimp house pet,

D

D

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ready to pose

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Bm

Bm

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I was rid in' down the street

D

D

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when I met Janet

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Her booty was bigger than

the whole damn planet

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Ass everywhere, I just can't stand it

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Tried to poem it but I could not manage

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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C#

C#

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I had this freak, her name was Bunny

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Said I was the only man who ever

E

E

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called her honey

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Everythin' I did to her was funny

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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I macked on bunny

D

D

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and I took her money

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Eight tonight a date with Shirley

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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She was really short and her hair was curly

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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If you saw baby you liked this girlie

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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She was so fine I went to get

Bm

Bm

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her early

D

D

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Shirlie was freakin' like

a girl named Rachel

E

E

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Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Her bite was vicious and

it sure was fatal

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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She liked to kiss all on my naval

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Those are her lips on top of my label

Bm

Bm

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I knew another freak,

D

D

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C#

C#

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her name was Candy

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Real big lips and they came in handy

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I smooth got worked and

it was so dandy

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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I hooked the brood up with

my homeboy Randy

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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C#

C#

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He did me a favor in return

Bm

Bm

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Gave me a lizard,

D

D

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Dm

Dm

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D

D

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said her name was Laverne

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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Baby got tossed and I got it on

C#

C#

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Bm

Bm

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I grabbed the mic and star

D

D

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ted to sing my song

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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My young homeboy heard me rap

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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And said he had way more freaks than that

D

D

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Bm

Bm

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So I told him like this:

D

D

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they might be freakin'

Bm

Bm

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D

D

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But, boy, you never had that

Outro 1

T-P-Treatment...

T-P-Treatment... T-P-Treatment...

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An acoustic guitar head with tuning pegs

E ₂

A ₂

D ₃

G ₃

B ₃

E ₄

Guitar Tuner 7 Strings

B ₁

E ₂

A ₂

D ₃

G ₃

B ₃

E ₄

Guitar Tuner 12 stringStandard

E ₃

E ₂

A ₃

A ₂

D ₄

D ₃

G ₄

G ₃

B ₃

B ₃

E ₄

E ₄

Guitar Tuner 6 stringPower

Guitar Tuner 6 stringOpen

Guitar Tuner 6 stringExtras

G ₄

C ₄

E ₄

A ₄

CavaquinhoStandard

D ₄

G ₄

B ₄

D ₅

E ₁

A ₁

D ₂

G ₂

Bass Tuner 5 Strings

B ₀

E ₁

A ₁

D ₂

G ₂

G ₃

D ₄

A ₄

E ₅

C ₃

G ₃

D ₄

A ₄

C ₂

G ₂

D ₃

A ₃

G ₃

D ₄

A ₄

E ₅

G ₃

G ₃

D ₄

D ₄

A ₄

A ₄

E ₅

E ₅

Balalaika Tuner

E ₄

E ₄

A ₄

G ₄

D ₃

G ₃

B ₃

D ₄

Banjo Tuner 4 Strings

C ₃

G ₃

D ₄

A ₄

An acoustic guitar head with tuning pegs

E ₂

A ₂

D ₃

G ₃

B ₃

E ₄

Guitar Tuner 7 Strings

B ₁

E ₂

A ₂

D ₃

G ₃

B ₃

E ₄

Guitar Tuner 12 stringStandard

E ₃

E ₂

A ₃

A ₂

D ₄

D ₃

G ₄

G ₃

B ₃

B ₃

E ₄

E ₄

Guitar Tuner 6 stringPower

Guitar Tuner 6 stringOpen

Guitar Tuner 6 stringExtras

G ₄

C ₄

E ₄

A ₄

CavaquinhoStandard

D ₄

G ₄

B ₄

D ₅

E ₁

A ₁

D ₂

G ₂

Bass Tuner 5 Strings

B ₀

E ₁

A ₁

D ₂

G ₂

G ₃

D ₄

A ₄

E ₅

C ₃

G ₃

D ₄

A ₄

C ₂

G ₂

D ₃

A ₃

G ₃

D ₄

A ₄

E ₅

G ₃

G ₃

D ₄

D ₄

A ₄

A ₄

E ₅

E ₅

Balalaika Tuner

E ₄

E ₄

A ₄

G ₄

D ₃

G ₃

B ₃

D ₄

Banjo Tuner 4 Strings

C ₃

G ₃

D ₄

A ₄

Chords

D
Bm
C#
Dm
E
Em
A

Capo: 2

Transpose: 0

0

Autoscroll20%

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Frequently asked questions

The original key of Freaky Tales by Too $hort is E major.

The primary chords used in Freaky Tales are E, C#m, D#, Em, F#, F#m.

To play in the original key, place your capo on the 2 fret.

Yes, this version uses open chords like E, C#m, D#, Em, making it a great song for beginner guitarists.

The tempo of Freaky Tales is approximately 154 beats per minute.

You can easily change the key of Freaky Tales using our Transpose button located in the toolbar. This will automatically update all chord diagrams on the page to match your new key.

Yes! Click the Print icon to generate a clean, one-page version of the chords and lyrics for Freaky Tales. This is perfect for practicing offline or adding to a physical songbook.

Yes, we have integrated a Mini-Tuner directly on this page. Use it to quickly check your string pitch (Standard Tuning: E A D G B E) before you start playing along with Too $hort.

Absolutely. Click the Save or Heart icon to add Freaky Tales to your account. You can access all your saved songs under My Library at any time.

You can view the full chord sheet and lyrics for Freaky Tales by Too $hort on this page for free. We provide high-quality, verified chords to help you start playing immediately.