Etiquette Blues chords by
Les Brown
Les Brown
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Key: C major•
Intro 1
C
C

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F
F

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D
D

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A
A

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D
D

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G
G

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C
C

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Verse 1
C
C

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Now I'm the guy
G
G

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that wrote the book on etiquette.
I know just how all your vittles
C
C

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should be ended.
F
F

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I have written this book
F#dim
F#dim
4

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about mistakes,
A
A

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what I have saw.
G
G

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A
A

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D
D

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Take them down and don't forget
G
G

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to what I say is law.
C
C

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Always leave the spoon up in the coffee.
Start with the soup
A
A

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before you sound your A.
G
G

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Napkins are to catch the food
A
A

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that bounces off the knife.
D
D

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G
G

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Tuck the napkin in so it will stay.
C
C

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G
G

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C
C

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Always put both elbows on the table.
G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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Many other pointers I could mention.
G
G

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Always gesture with your fork.
A
A

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Friday means it's fish or pork.
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Thank you for your very
C
C

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kind attention.
When the tea is hot,
just use the saucer.
A
A

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Pick a pumpkin pie up in your hand,
G
G

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never ask for nothin'
A
A

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that you can safely reach.
D
D

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G
G

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Read Rule 82, you'll understand.
C
C

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Wipe your plate with bread
when you have finished.
G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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Many other pointers I could mention.
G
G

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Grab your glass of Whip on drop,
A
A

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always finish when you stop.
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Thank you for your very
C
C

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kind attention.
Always mix the peas with the potatoes.
A
A

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This makes eating with a knife a cinch.
G
G

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When someone asks for bread,
A
A

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grab several in your mouth.
D
D

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G
G

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Dill them out like you was dillin' a flinch.
C
C

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Take two toothpicks,
you might sometimes drop one.
G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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Many other pointers I could mention.
G
G

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Put your gum beneath your plate,
A
A

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eat so fast you won't be late.
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Thank you for your very
C
C

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kind attention.
Never cut spaghetti up in pieces.
A
A

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Eat it like a chicken eating worms.
G
G

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When you're eating cake,
C
C

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A
A

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be sure to eat the force of force.
D
D

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G
G

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Watch out for bacteria and germs.
C
C

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When you're eating grapefruit,
wear your goggles, wear your goggles.
G
G

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C
C

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F
F

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Many other pointers I could mention.
A
A

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Finger balls are so close by,
A
A

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in the bench a glass runs dry.
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Thank you for your very kind affair.
Outro 1
Thank yous v -v -very much.
C
C

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TunerE A D G B E

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