Alice's Restaurant Massacree Tab by Arlo Guthrie

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E|---------5-------3----0-----------| B|-2--------------------------------| G|------------------------------5---| D|---------2---------------0--------| A|-0--------------------------------| E|-----------------0----------------| 1 2 3 4

(D7) (G6) (C major) (G major) (A minor) (G/B)

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(C major) (A7)

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(D7) (G major)

E|----------------------0-----------|----------------------------------| B|---------3-------3----------------|-0----1-------2-------3-----------| G|--------------5---------------0---|------------------------------0---| D|---------4---------------4--------|----------------------------------| A|-5--------------------------------|---------0-------1-------2--------| E|-----------------5----------------|-3--------------------------------| 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4

(C major) (C major)

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(F major) (F minor6) (D7/F#)

E|----------------------------------|----------------------------------| B|---------0-------1----------------|-1----3----------1----3-----------| G|-2--------------------2-------1---|------------------------------0---| D|---------3---------------3--------|---------0---------------0--------| A|----------------------------------|----------------------------------| E|-1---------------1----------------|-1---------------2----------------| 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4

(C major) (A7)

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(D7) (G6) (C major) (G major) (A minor) (G/B)

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(C major) This song is called "Ali (A7) ce's Restaurant"

It's a (D7) bout Al (G6) ice

(C major) and the restaurant (A7)

But "Alice's (D7) Restaurant" is not

the name (G major) of the restaurant,

that's (C major) just the name of this song (C7)

That's why I (F major) call the song "Alice's Res (D7/F#) taurant"

(C major) You can get anything (A7) you want

at Alice's (D7) (G6) Restaurant (C major) (G major) (A minor) (G/B)

(C major) You can get anything (A7) you want

(D7) at Alice's (G major) restaurant

(C major) Walk right in, it's around (C7) the back

(F major) Just a half a mile from the (D7/F#) railroad track

And (C major) you can get anything (A7) you want

at Alice's (D7) (G6) restaurant (C major) (G major) (A minor) (G/B)

(C major) Now it all started two (A7) Thanksgivings ago,

was on (D7) two years a (G6) go on Thanks (C major) giv (G major) ing

(A minor) When my (G/B) friend and (C major) I went up

to visit (A7) Alice at the restaurant

(D7) But Alice doesn't live (G major) in the restaurant

She (C major) lives in the church

nearby (C7) the restaurant, in the bell (F major) tower

With her husband (D7/F#) Ray and Facha, the dog (C major)

And livin' in the bell (A7) tower like that,

they got a lot of (D7) room down (G6) stairs

where the (C major) pews (G major) used to (A minor) be

And (G/B)

(C major) havin' all that room,

seein' as (A7) how they took out all the pews

(D7) they decided (G6) that they didn't

have (C major) to (G major) take out (A minor) their garbage (G/B)

(C major) for a long time

(A7) We got up there, (D7)

we found all the garbage in there

(G major) and we decide that it'd be a (C major)

friendly gesture for us (C7)

to take the garbage down to (F major) the city dump

So (D7/F#) we took the half-a-ton of garbage, (C major)

put it in the back of a (A7) red VW Microbus,

(D7) took shovels and (G6) rakes

and imple (C major) ments of (G major) de (A minor) structon (G/B)

And (C major) headed on toward the city (A7) dump

Well, (C major) we got (G major) there and (A minor) there's a big (G/B) sign

(C major) and a chain across the dump

(A7) Sayin: "Closed on Thanksgiv (D7) ing"

and we had never heard (G major) of a dump

closed on Thanks (C major) giving before

And with tears (C7) in our eyes we drove off

in (F major) to the sunset lookin' for (D7/F#) another place

to put the garbage (C major)

(A7) We didn't find one (D7) (G6) (C major)

Till (G major) we came (A minor) to a (G/B) side

(C major) road and off the side of the (A7) side road

was another (D7) fifteen- foot (G6) cliff

And (C major) at (G major) the bot (A minor) tom of the (G/B) cliff

was (C major) another pile of garbage

And (A7) we decided that (D7) one big pile was better

than two (G major) little piles

And rather than bring (C major) that one up,

we decided to (C7) throw ours down

(F major) That's what we did

(D7/F#) Drove back to the church,

had (C major) a Thanksgiving dinner

that could (A7) n't be beat

Went to sleep, (D7) and didn't get up

(G6) until the next (C major) morning (G major)

(A minor) When (G/B) we got

(C major) a phone call from Officer (A7) Obie

(C major) (G major) (A minor) He (G/B) said, "Kid, (C major)

we (A7) found your name on a envelope

(D7) at the bottom of a half a (G major) ton of garbage

(C major) Just wanted to know

if you had any information about it"

And (F major) I said, "Yes sir, Officer Obie, (D7/F#)

I cannot tell a lie

(C major) I (A7) put that envelope under that (D7) garbage" (G6)

(C major) After speakin' to to Obie

for (A7) about forty-five minutes on the (D7) telephone

We (G6) finally arrived (C major) at the truth (G major) of the (A minor) matter

And (G/B) he said (C major) that we had to go down

and (A7) pick up the garbage

And (D7) also had to go down

and (G major) speak to him at the Police Officer (C major) Station

So we got (C7) in the red VW mic (F major) robus

With the shovels and rakes

(D7/F#) and implements of destruction

And (C major) headed on

toward the Police Officer (A7) Station

Now, friends, (D7) there was (G6) only

one or (C major) two (G major) things that (A minor) Obie (G/B) could've

(C major) done at the Police Station

(A7) And the first was that he could've

(D7) give us a medal (G6) for bein' so

brave (C major) and honest (G major) on (A minor) the tele (G/B) phone

(C major) Which wasn't very likely,

and (A7) we didn't expect it

And and the (D7) other thing was

that he (G major) could've bawled us out

And told us never (C major) to be seen

drivin' garbage (C7) around the vicinity again

(F major) Which is what we expected (D7/F#)

But when we got to the (C major) Police Officer Station,

(A7) there was a third possibili (D7) ty

That we had (G6) n't even counted (C major) up (G major) on,

and (A minor) we was (G/B) both

(C major) immediately arrested, (A7) handcuffed

And I (D7) said, "Obie, I (G6)

don't (C major) think I (G major) can pick (A minor) up the (G/B) gar bage (C major)

with these handcuffs on" (A7)

He said (D7) "shut up kid, (G major)

get in the back of the patrol (C major) car"

And that's what we did,

and (C7) sat in the back of the patrol car,

and (F major) drove to the

quote, scene (D7/F#) of the crime, unquote

(C major) I want to tell you 'bout the town (A7) of

Stockbridge, Massachusetts, (D7)

where this is (G6) happenin'

Here they (C major) got three (G major) stop (A minor) signs, (G/B)

(C major) two police officers, and one (A7) police car

But when (D7) we got to the (G6) scene of the crime,

(C major) (G major) there was (A minor) five (G/B) po (C major) lice officers

and three police (A7) cars

Bein' the biggest (D7) crime of the last fifty (G major) years

and everybody wanted to (C major) get in

the newspaper story a (C7) bout it

And they was usin' (F major) up all kinds of

cop (D7/F#) equipment that they had

(C major) hangin' around the Police Officer (A7) Station

They was takin' (D7) plaster tire (G6) tracks,

footprints (C major) (G major) dog- (A minor) smell (G/B) in' prints

(C major) And they took twenty-seven

(A7) 8 x 10 colored glossy (D7) photographs (G6)

with cir (C major) cles and arrows (G major) and a (A minor) para (G/B) graph

(C major) on the back

Of each one (A7) explainin' what each one was,

(D7) to be used as evidence against (G major) us

(C major) Took pictures of the approach,

(C7) the getaway, the northwest corner, (F major)

the southwest corner

And that's (D7/F#) not to mention

the aer (C major) ial photography

After (C major) (G major) the or (A minor) deal (G/B) we

(C major) went back to the jail

Obie (A7) said he was gonna put us in a cell

(D7) He said "kid, I'm (G6) gonna put you (C major) in a (G major) cell

I (A minor) want your (G/B) wal let (C major) and your belt"

(A7) And I said, "Obie, I can understand (D7)

your wantin' my wallet,

so I don't (G major) have any money to spend in the (C major) cell

But what do you want my belt (C7) for?"

And he said "Kid, (F major)

we don't (D7/F#) want any hangin's"

(C major) I said, "Obie, did (A7) you think I was gonna

hang my (D7) self for litterin'?" (G6) (C major) (G major) (A minor) Obie (G/B) said he

(C major) was makin' sure, and, friends, O (A7) bie was

'Cause he took out the toilet (D7) seat

so I (G6) couldn't hit my (C major) self

ov (G major) er the head (A minor) and drown (G/B)

(C major) And he took out the toilet paper (A7)

so I couldn't bend the bars (D7)

Roll out, to (G major) roll the toilet paper out the (C major) window,

slide down the roll and (C7) have an escape

(F major) Obie was makin' sure and it was

a (D7/F#) bout four or five hours (C major) later that Alice

(A7) Remember Alice? (D7) it's a song (G6) 'bout Alice

(C major) (G major) (A minor) (G/B) Alice

(C major) came by and, with a

few nasty (A7) words to Obie on the side

(D7) Bailed us out (G6) of jail,

and we (C major) went back (G major) to the (A minor) church, (G/B)

had an (C major) other Thanksgiving dinner

that (A7) couldn't be beat

And didn't get up (D7) until the next morning

When (G major) we all had to go to court (C major)

(C7) We walked in, (F major) sat down, Obie came in

(D7/F#) With the twenty-seven 8 by (C major) 10

colored glossy pictures

(A7) with the circles and arrows

And a para (D7) graph on the back (G6) each one,

(C major) sat (G major) down (A minor) (G/B)

(C major) Man (A7) came in, said, "All rise!"

(D7) We all (G6) stood up, and Obie (C major) stood (G major) up

with the (A minor) twenty- (G/B) seven (C major) 8 by 10

colored glossy (A7) pictures,

and the judge walked in, (D7) sat down

With a seein' (G major) eye dog and he sat down (C major)

We (C7) sat down

O (F major) bie looked at the seein' eye dog (D7/F#)

(C major) then at the twenty-seven (A7) 8 x 10

colored glossy (D7) pictures with the (G6) circles

and arrows (C major) and a (G major) paragraph (A minor) on the (G/B) back

each (C major) one

And looked at (A7) the seein' eye dog

(D7) (G6) (C major) And (G major) then at the (A minor) twenty- (G/B) seven

(C major) 8 x 10 colored glossy (A7) pictures

with the circles and arrows

And (D7) a paragraph on the back each (G major) one

and began to cry

(C major) 'Cause Obie came to the realization (C7) that

it was a typi (F major) cal case of American blind (D7/F#) justice

And there was noth (C major) in' he could do about it,

and the (A7) judge wasn't gonna look at

the (D7) twenty-seven 8 (G6) by 10

(C major) colored (G major) glossy (A minor) (G/B) pictures

(C major) with the circles and arrows and

a (A7) paragraph on the back each (D7) one

Explainin' what (G6) each one was, (C major)

to be (G major) used as (A minor) evi dence (G/B) a (C major) gainst us

(A7) And we was fined fifty dollars (D7)

and had to pick up (G major) the garbage in the snow

(C major) But (C7) that's not what I came

to tell you a (F major) bout (D7/F#)

(C major) Came (A7) to talk about the draft

They (C major) got a buildin' down New York City (A7)

's called Whitehall Street, (D7) where you walk in,

(G6) you get injected, (C major) (G major) in (A minor) spect (G/B) ed,

detected, (C major) infected, ne (A7) glected and selected

(C major) I went down (C7) and got my physical

exami (F major) nation one day,

and I walked (D7/F#) in, sat down

(C major) Got good and drunk the night be (A7) fore,

so I looked and felt my (D7) best

when I (G6) went in that (C major) morning (G major) (A minor)

'Cause (G/B) I

want (C major) ed to look like the All-American

(A7) kid from New York City

(D7) Man, I wanted, (G6) I wanted to

(C major) feel (G major) like (A minor) all, (G/B) I wanted

(C major) to be the All-Ameri (A7) can kid from New York

And (D7) I walked in, sat down, I (G major) was hung down,

brung down, (C major) hung up

and all kinds of (C7) mean, nasty, ugly things

(F major) And I walked in, I sat (D7/F#) down,