Alice's Restaurant Massacree chords by Arlo Guthrie (Official Version)
Intro 1
C
A7
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
C
A7
D7
G
C
C
F
Fm6
D7/F#
C
A7
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
Verse 1
C
A7
This song is called "Alice's Restaurant"
D7
G6
It's about Alice
C
G
Am
G/B
C
A7
and the restaurant
D7
But "Alice's Restaurant" is not
G
the name of the restaurant,
C
C7
that's just the name of this song
F
D7/F#
That's why I call the song "Alice's Restaurant"
C
A7
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
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Chorus 1
C
A7
You can get anything you want
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
at Alice's Restaurant
C
A7
You can get anything you want
D7
G
at Alice's restaurant
C
C7
Walk right in, it's around the back
F
D7/F#
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
C
A7
And you can get anything you want
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
at Alice's restaurant
Verse 2
C
A7
Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago,
D7
G6
C
G
was on two years ago on Thanksgiving
Am
G/B
C
When my friend and I went up
A7
to visit Alice at the restaurant
D7
G
But Alice doesn't live in the restaurant
C
She lives in the church
C7
F
nearby the restaurant, in the bell tower
D7/F#
C
With her husband Ray and Facha, the dog
A7
And livin' in the bell tower like that,
D7
G6
they got a lot of room downstairs
C
G
Am
where the pews used to be
G/B
And
Verse 3
C
havin' all that room,
A7
seein' as how they took out all the pews
D7
G6
they decided that they didn't
C
G
Am
G/B
have to take out their garbage
C
for a long time
A7
D7
We got up there,
we found all the garbage in there
G
C
and we decide that it'd be a
C7
friendly gesture for us
F
to take the garbage down to the city dump
D7/F#
C
So we took the half-a-ton of garbage,
A7
put it in the back of a red VW Microbus,
D7
G6
took shovels and rakes
C
G
Am
G/B
and implements of destructon
Verse 4
C
A7
And headed on toward the city dump
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
Well, we got there and there's a big sign
C
and a chain across the dump
A7
D7
Sayin: "Closed on Thanksgiving"
G
and we had never heard of a dump
C
closed on Thanksgiving before
C7
And with tears in our eyes we drove off
F
D7/F#
into the sunset lookin' for another place
C
to put the garbage
A7
D7
G6
C
We didn't find one
G
Am
G/B
Till we came to a side
Verse 5
C
A7
road and off the side of the side road
D7
G6
was another fifteen- foot cliff
C
G
Am
G/B
And at the bottom of the cliff
C
was another pile of garbage
A7
D7
And we decided that one big pile was better
G
than two little piles
C
And rather than bring that one up,
C7
we decided to throw ours down
F
That's what we did
D7/F#
Drove back to the church,
C
had a Thanksgiving dinner
A7
that couldn't be beat
D7
Went to sleep, and didn't get up
G6
C
G
until the next morning
Am
G/B
When we got
Verse 6
C
A7
a phone call from Officer Obie
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
C
He said, "Kid,
A7
we found your name on a envelope
D7
G
at the bottom of a half a ton of garbage
C
Just wanted to know
if you had any information about it"
F
D7/F#
And I said, "Yes sir, Officer Obie,
I cannot tell a lie
C
A7
D7
G6
I put that envelope under that garbage"
C
G
Am
G/B
Verse 7
C
After speakin' to to Obie
A7
D7
for about forty-five minutes on the telephone
G6
C
G
Am
We finally arrived at the truth of the matter
G/B
C
And he said that we had to go down
A7
and pick up the garbage
D7
And also had to go down
G
C
and speak to him at the Police Officer Station
C7
F
So we got in the red VW microbus
With the shovels and rakes
D7/F#
and implements of destruction
C
And headed on
A7
toward the Police Officer Station
D7
G6
Now, friends, there was only
C
G
Am
G/B
one or two things that Obie could've
Verse 8
C
done at the Police Station
A7
And the first was that he could've
D7
G6
give us a medal for bein' so
C
G
Am
G/B
brave and honest on the telephone
C
Which wasn't very likely,
A7
and we didn't expect it
D7
And and the other thing was
G
that he could've bawled us out
C
And told us never to be seen
C7
drivin' garbage around the vicinity again
F
D7/F#
Which is what we expected
C
But when we got to the Police Officer Station,
A7
D7
there was a third possibility
G6
C
G
That we hadn't even counted upon,
Am
G/B
and we was both
Verse 9
C
A7
immediately arrested, handcuffed
D7
G6
And I said, "Obie, I
C
G
Am
G/B
C
don't think I can pick up the gar bage
A7
with these handcuffs on"
D7
G
He said "shut up kid,
C
get in the back of the patrol car"
And that's what we did,
C7
and sat in the back of the patrol car,
F
and drove to the
D7/F#
quote, scene of the crime, unquote
C
A7
I want to tell you 'bout the town of
D7
Stockbridge, Massachusetts,
G6
where this is happenin'
C
G
Am
G/B
Here they got three stop signs,
Verse 10
C
A7
two police officers, and one police car
D7
G6
But when we got to the scene of the crime,
C
G
Am
G/B
C
there was five police officers
A7
and three police cars
D7
G
Bein' the biggest crime of the last fifty years
C
and everybody wanted to get in
C7
the newspaper story about it
F
And they was usin' up all kinds of
D7/F#
cop equipment that they had
C
A7
hangin' around the Police Officer Station
D7
G6
They was takin' plaster tire tracks,
C
G
Am
G/B
footprints dog- smellin' prints
Verse 11
C
And they took twenty-seven
A7
D7
G6
8 x 10 colored glossy photographs
C
G
Am
G/B
with circles and arrows and a paragraph
C
on the back
A7
Of each one explainin' what each one was,
D7
G
to be used as evidence against us
C
Took pictures of the approach,
C7
F
the getaway, the northwest corner,
the southwest corner
D7/F#
And that's not to mention
C
the aerial photography
A7
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
After the ordeal we
Verse 12
C
went back to the jail
A7
Obie said he was gonna put us in a cell
D7
G6
C
G
He said "kid, I'm gonna put you in a cell
Am
G/B
C
I want your wal let and your belt"
A7
D7
And I said, "Obie, I can understand
your wantin' my wallet,
G
C
so I don't have any money to spend in the cell
C7
But what do you want my belt for?"
F
And he said "Kid,
D7/F#
we don't want any hangin's"
C
A7
I said, "Obie, did you think I was gonna
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
hang myself for litterin'?" Obie said he
Verse 13
C
A7
was makin' sure, and, friends, Obie was
D7
'Cause he took out the toilet seat
G6
C
so I couldn't hit myself
G
Am
G/B
over the head and drown
C
A7
And he took out the toilet paper
D7
so I couldn't bend the bars
G
C
Roll out, to roll the toilet paper out the window,
C7
slide down the roll and have an escape
F
Obie was makin' sure and it was
D7/F#
C
about four or five hours later that Alice
A7
D7
G6
Remember Alice? it's a song 'bout Alice
C
G
Am
G/B
Alice
Verse 14
C
came by and, with a
A7
few nasty words to Obie on the side
D7
G6
Bailed us out of jail,
C
G
Am
G/B
and we went back to the church,
C
had another Thanksgiving dinner
A7
that couldn't be beat
D7
And didn't get up until the next morning
G
C
When we all had to go to court
C7
F
We walked in, sat down, Obie came in
D7/F#
C
With the twenty-seven 8 by 10
colored glossy pictures
A7
with the circles and arrows
D7
G6
And a paragraph on the back each one,
C
G
Am
G/B
sat down
Verse 15
C
A7
Man came in, said, "All rise!"
D7
G6
C
G
We all stood up, and Obie stood up
Am
G/B
C
with the twenty- seven 8 by 10
A7
colored glossy pictures,
D7
and the judge walked in, sat down
G
C
With a seein' eye dog and he sat down
C7
We sat down
F
D7/F#
Obie looked at the seein' eye dog
C
A7
then at the twenty-seven 8 x 10
D7
G6
colored glossy pictures with the circles
C
G
Am
G/B
and arrows and a paragraph on the back
Verse 16
C
each one
A7
And looked at the seein' eye dog
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
And then at the twenty- seven
C
A7
8 x 10 colored glossy pictures
with the circles and arrows
D7
G
And a paragraph on the back each one
and began to cry
C
C7
'Cause Obie came to the realization that
F
D7/F#
it was a typical case of American blind justice
C
And there was nothin' he could do about it,
A7
and the judge wasn't gonna look at
D7
G6
the twenty-seven 8 by 10
C
G
Am
G/B
colored glossy pictures
Verse 17
C
with the circles and arrows and
A7
D7
a paragraph on the back each one
G6
C
Explainin' what each one was,
G
Am
G/B
C
to be used as evi dence against us
A7
D7
And we was fined fifty dollars
G
and had to pick up the garbage in the snow
C
C7
But that's not what I came
F
D7/F#
to tell you about
C
A7
Came to talk about the draft
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
Verse 18
C
A7
They got a buildin' down New York City
D7
's called Whitehall Street, where you walk in,
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
you get injected, in spected,
C
A7
detected, infected, neglected and selected
D7
G
C
C7
I went down and got my physical
F
examination one day,
D7/F#
and I walked in, sat down
C
A7
Got good and drunk the night before,
D7
so I looked and felt my best
G6
C
G
Am
when I went in that morning
G/B
'Cause I
Verse 19
C
wanted to look like the All-American
A7
kid from New York City
D7
G6
Man, I wanted, I wanted to
C
G
Am
G/B
feel like all, I wanted
C
A7
to be the All-American kid from New York
D7
G
And I walked in, sat down, I was hung down,
C
brung down, hung up
C7
and all kinds of mean, nasty, ugly things
F
D7/F#
And I walked in, I sat down,
C
they gave me a piece of paper said,
A7
D7
G6
"Kid, see the psychiatrist, room 604", and
C
G
Am
G/B
I went up there, I said,
Verse 20
C
A7
D7
G6
"Shrink, I wanna kill,
C
G
Am
G/B
C
I wanna, I wanna kill
A7
D7
Kill, I want, I wanna see,
G
I wanna see blood and gore and guts
C
C7
and veins in my teeth
F
D7/F#
Eat dead, burnt bodies
C
A7
D7
G6
I mean kill, kill! Kill! Kill!"
C
G
Am
G/B
And I started jumpin' up and
Verse 21
C
A7
down, yellin' "Kill, kill!"
D7
G6
And he started jumpin' up and down with me,
C
G
Am
G/B
C
and we was both jumpin' up and down,
A7
D7
yellin' "Kill! Kill!" and the sergeant
G
came over, pinned a medal on me
C
Sent me down the hall, said "You're our boy"
C7
F
D7/F#
Didn't feel too good about it
C
Proceeded on down the hall,
A7
D7
gettin' more injections, inspections,
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
detections, neglections, and all kinds of stuff
Verse 22
C
A7
that they was doin' to me at the thing there
D7
G6
And I was there for two hours,
C
G
Am
G/B
three hours, four hours
C
A7
I was there for a long time goin' through
D7
G
all kinds of mean, nasty, ugly things
C
And I was just havin' a tough time there,
C7
F
and they was inspectin', injectin',
D7/F#
every single part of me,
C
and they was leavin' no part untouched
A7
D7
G6
Proceeded through, and I's
C
G
Am
G/B
When finally came to see
Verse 23
C
the very last man
A7
F#dim7
I walked in, walked in sat down,
Gdim7
Abdim7
after whole big thing there,
Adim7
Bbdim7
and I walked up and said,
"What do you want?"
Bdim7
Cdim7
Dbdim7
He said, "Kid, we only got one question:
Have you ever been arrested?"
G
Am
G/B
Verse 24
C
A7
And I proceeded to tell him the story
D7
G6
of Alice's Restaurant Massacree,
C
G
Am
G/B
with full orchestration
C
A7
and five-part harmony and stuff like that,
and then all the phenomena
D7
He stopped me right there and said,
G
Am
G/B
"Kid, did you ever go to court?"
Verse 25
C
A7
I proceeded to tell him the story
D7
G6
of the twenty-seven eight-by-ten color glossy
C
G
Am
G/B
pictures with the circles and arrows
C
A7
and the paragraph on the back of each one,
D7
and he stopped me right there and said,
"Kid, I want you to go over and sit down
on that bench that says Group W
Now, kid!
G
Am
G/B
Verse 26
C
A7
D7
G6
C
G
And I, I walked over to the,
Am
G/B
to the bench there and there is,
C
there is Group W, that's where,
A7
where they put you if you you may not be
D7
moral enough to, to join the army
G
after committing your special crime
C
An' here was all kinds of mean, nasty,
C7
ugly-lookin' people on the bench there
F
D7/F#
Mother-rapers, father-stabbers,
C
father-rapers!
A7
D7
Father-rapers sitting right there
G6
on the bench next to me!
C
G
Am
G/B
And they was
Verse 27
C
A7
D7
mean and ugly and horrible crime-type guys
G6
C
sitting there on the bench
G
Am
G/B
C
And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one,
A7
the meanest father-raper of them all,
D7
was coming over to me
G
and he was mean and ugly and nasty
C
and horrible and all kind of things
C7
F
And he sat down next to me and said,
D7/F#
C
A7
"Kid, what'd you get?"
D7
I said, "I didn't get nothing,
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
I had to pay fifty dollars and pick up
Verse 28
C
A7
the garbage"
D7
G6
He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"
C
G
Am
G/B
and I said, "Littering"
C
A7
And they all moved away from me
D7
G
on the bench there, and the the hairy eyeball
C
and all kinds of mean nasty things,
C7
'til I said, "And creating a nuisance,"
F
D7/F#
and they all came back, shook my hand,
C
and we had a great time on the bench,
A7
talkin' about crime, mother-stabbing,
D7
G6
C
father-raping, all kinds of groovy things
G
Am
G/B
that we was talking about
Verse 29
C
on the bench
A7
And everything was was fine,
D7
we was smoking cigarettes
G6
and all kinds kinds of things,
C
G
Am
G/B
until the sergeant came over
C
A7
D7
Had some paper in his hand
G
Held it up and said, "Kids,
C
this piece of paper's got
forty-seven words, thirty-seven sentences,
fifty-eight words, we wanna know
details of the crime, time of the crime,
any other kind of thing you gotta say
pertaining to and about the crime,
I wanna know the arresting officer's name,
G
any other kind of thing you gotta say"
Am
G/B
And he talked for
Verse 30
C
A7
forty-five minutes and nobody understood
D7
a word that he said,
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
but we had fun filling out the forms
C
and playing with the pencils
A7
on the bench there
D7
G
I filled out the massacree with the
C
C7
four-part harmony, and wrote it down there,
F
just like it was, and everything was fine
D7/F#
And I put down the pencil,
C
A7
and I turned over the piece of paper, and,
D7
G
and there
C
C7
There on other side
F
D7/F#
In the middle of the other side
C
A7
D7
G6
Away from everything else
C
G
Am
G/B
on the other side
Verse 31
C
A7
D7
G6
In parentheses
C
G
Am
G/B
C
A7
Capital letters
D7
G
Quotated
C
C7
F
D7/F#
Read the following words: "Kid,
C
A7
you rehabiltated yourself?"
D7
G6
C
I went over to the sergeant,
G
Am
G/B
I said, "Sergeant, you got a
Verse 32
C
A7
lotta damn gall to ask me
D7
G6
if I've rehabilitated myself
C
G
Am
G/B
I mean, I mean,
C
A7
I mean that just,
D7
I'm sittin' here on the bench
G
Mean I'm sittin' here,
C
C7
on the Group W bench,
F
'cause you want to know if I'm
D7/F#
C
moral enough to join the army,
A7
burn women, kids, houses and villages
D7
G6
after being a litterbug"
C
G
Am
G/B
Verse 33
C
A7
He looked at me and said, "Kid,
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
we don't like your kind
C
And we're gonna send your
A7
fingerprints off to Washington"
D7
G
C
And, friends, somewhere in Washington
C7
enshrined in some little folder,
F
is a study in black and white
D7/F#
C
A7
of my fingerprints
D7
G6
And the only reason I'm singing you this song
C
G
Am
G/B
now is 'cause you may know
Verse 34
C
A7
D7
G6
somebody in a similar situation
C
G
Am
G/B
C
Or you may be in a similar situ ation
A7
And if you're in a situation like that
D7
there's only one thing you can do,
G
C
and that's walk into the shrink
C7
wherever you are, just walk in,
F
D7/F#
say "Shrink,
C
A7
you can get anything you want,
D7
G6
C
at Alice's restaurant"
G
Am
G/B
And walk out
Verse 35
C
A7
You know, if one person,
D7
G6
just one person does it,
C
G
Am
G/B
they may think he's really
C
A7
sick, and they won't take him
D7
G
And if two people, two people do it,
C
C7
in harmony they may
F
think they're both faggots
D7/F#
and they won't take either of 'em
C
A7
D7
G6
And if three people do it,
C
G
Am
G/B
Verse 36
C
three, can you imagine?
A7
D7
Three people walking in, singing a bar of
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
"Alice's Restaurant" and walking out?
C
A7
They may think it's an organization
D7
G
And can you, can you imagine fifty people
C
a day, I said fifty people a day!
C7
F
Walkin' in, singin' a bar of "Alice's Restaurant"
D7/F#
and walking out
C
And friends, they may think it's a movement!
A7
And that's what it is,
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
the Alice's Restaurant An ti- Massacree
Verse 37
C
A7
Movement, and all you got to do to join
D7
G6
is sing it the next time it comes
C
G
Am
G/B
around on the gui tar
C
A7
With feeling
D7
G
So we'll wait 'til it comes around
C
C7
on the guitar here, sing it when it does
F
D7/F#
C
A7
Here it comes
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
Chorus 2
C
A7
You can get anything you want
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
at Alice's restaurant
C
A7
You can get anything you want
D7
G
at Alice's restaurant
C
C7
Walk right in, it's around the back
F
D7/F#
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
C
A7
You can get anything you want
D7
G6
C
G
Am
G/B
at Alice's restaurant
Verse 38
C
A7
D7
G6
That was horrible
C
G
Am
G/B
You want to end war
C
A7
and stuff, you got to sing loud
D7
You could put a lot—
G
I've been singing this song now
C
for twenty-five minutes
C7
F
I could sing it for another
D7/F#
twenty-five minutes
C
A7
I'm not proud
D7
G6
Or tired
C
G
Am
G/B
So we'll wait 'til it comes
Verse 39
C
A7
around again, and this time with
D7
G6
four- part harmony and feeling
C
G
Am
G/B
C
A7
We're just waiting for it
D7
G
to come around is what we're doing
C
C7
F
D7/F#
C
A7
D7
G6
All right now
C
G
Am
G/B
Chorus 3
C
A7
You can get anything you want
D7
G6
at Alice's restaurant
C
G
Am
G/B
(excepting Al ice)
C
A7
You can get anything you want
D7
G
at Alice's restaurant
C
C7
Said walk right in, it's around the back
F
D7/F#
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
C
A7
And you can get anything you want
D7
G6
at Alice's restaurant
C
D7
Da- da-da- da-da- da-da- dum
G
At Alice's Restaurant
C7/G
F
Fm6
C/G
G
C
Alice's Restaurant Massacree
Arlo Guthrie
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