The Waiter And The Porter And The Upstairs Maid chords by Jack Teagarden, Mary Martin
Verse 1
G
Em
C
D
A
D
C
As your genial host,
may I offer a toast
G
to the wine -buying guest on my right.
A
D
Hooray for the wine -buyer!
G
Yes, drag out the cook and sherry
D
for the old colonel.
G
C
May his bank account grow,
G
C
heavy laden with dough.
D
A
D
May he spend it in here every night.
Every night!
G
B
Em
Seeing this night in its glory,
B
Em
you people so loyal, so true,
Eb
A
D
puts me in mind of a story.
Em
A
D
Tell us about it, pray do.
G
C
The people in the ballroom
Am
Em
D
were stuffy and arty,
Am
G
Em
A
so I began to get just a little bit afraid.
D
G
Am
I sneaked into the kitchen,
Em
G
B
I dug me a party
C
G
Em
The waiter, and the porter,
C
D
and the second story maid
G
I peeked into the parlor
Am
G
C
to see what was a hatchin'
G
Em
In time to hear the hostess
A
suggest a charade
D
G
Am
But who was in the pantry
Em
A
a -laughin' and scratchin'
G
Old waiter, and the porter,
Eb
D
G
and the upstairs maid
When they heard the music
D
that the orchestra played
C
The waiter and the porter
grabbed ahold of the maid
Em
Then they all proceeded
A
Em
to go into a clog
E
Em
D
Em
A diggity -dog
G
C
G
If ever I'm invited to some fuddy -duddies
C
G
Em
I ain't a -gonna watch any
Em
D
harlequinade
G
C
You'll find him in the kitchen
Am
G
applauding his buddies
C
G
The waiter
Em
And the porter
A
D
G
And the upstairs man
Eb
C
Ahem, well, pardon me, folks
D
Em
The roast is carved,
C
the wine is served,
G
while you look half -starved.
C
G
Pardon me, sir, may we be free?
Am
The kitchen guard is
A
D
having a jamboree!
G
C
Eb
G
C
Eb
D
G
C
I went and got a dishpan
to use as a thimble.
G
Em
The porter found a regular
C
D
glass that he played.
G
C
The fingers of the waiter
were each in a thimble.
G
You should have heard the music
Em
D
Em
C
that the combination made
Em
C
B
Em
C
Em
B
Em
G
Marchin' through the kitchen
to the pantry and back
C
G
Why, man, you should have seen us,
C
we were bowlin' the jack
Once a half an hour
A
Em
E
passed without any call
D
Jack, we had a ball
G
C
The waltzes and mazurkas,
we hate them, we spurn them
G
Em
We got a lot of rhythms,
C
A
we want to hear play, yes
D
G
C
And we know who to go to
when we want to learn them
G
The waiter and the porter
A
D
and the upstairs man
The Waiter And The Porter And The Upstairs Maid
Jack Teagarden, Mary Martin
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