The Psychiatrist chords by Peter Cook & Dudley Moore
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Verse 1
(G major) Come in. Hello, Roger.
Hello, Dr Braintree.
Hello. (G minor) Come in. sorry I'm late.
(G major) That's quite all right.
How are you?
I'm very well, thank you.
Would like to sit down
or would you prefer to lie?
Um, I'll sit, thanks. Right.
Well, sit right down.
Now, tell me, how are you
in yourself?
Well, I'm really feeling rather in
the pink.
Oh, this is terrific.
Yes. (B flat major) It's funny, really.
(G major) You know, if anybody had told me
that talking to psychiatrists
would have helped me at all,
I'd have laughed in their faces,
you know.
But I can honestly say that our
little chats together
have really been a tremendous
benefit to me.
I'm so glad, Roger.
Of course, a lot of people are
instinctively
very suspicious of psychiatry,
and possibly, you know, with reason,
but it can help in times.
Well, I really think it can because,
you know, I've got so much more self -confidence now. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
I'm much less self -conscious
in the company of the opposite sex,
which I wasn't,
as you know.
You're less inhibited, are you?
I should say.
Good, this is terrific.
And the wonderful thing is, really, about it all,
well, I'm in love.
Well, this is wonderful news, Roger.
You're in love with a woman?
Yes. So much the better.
That's terrific.
You know, it's so wonderful to be in love.
I can't tell you the absolute joy I have.
Well, love is a wonderful thing.
I've been there myself.
It's a wonderful thing.
I mean, she's, this girl,
this creature,
this goddess, she's so,
you know, it's so right, everything is so wonderful
Yes, yes, you really click together
Yes Oh, it's so marvellous,
but the only trouble is that apart from this wonderful
light -hearted love that I have
I seem to be saddled with this
tremendous burning sense (F sharp minor) of guilt
(G major) You have guilt as well as love.
Well, this is, this is, um,
this is unfortunate, Roger.
You know, sex is the most natural, healthy thing
in the world.
There's no reason at all
to have any guilt about it.
I mean, why would you have guilt about
sex?
It's a lovely, beautiful (F sharp minor) thing, Roger.
Well, (G major) it's, it's not really
as simple as that, you know.
It's, um, it's rather difficult to (F sharp minor) explain.
Um, I, (G major) I don't really know where to start.
Well, begin at the beginning.
That's always the best, yes.
Uh, what's the (F sharp minor) girl's name?
(F sharp major) Stephanie. (G major) that's a lovely name, isn't it? Well, it's my wife's name, in fact,
isn't it? Yes. It's, it's Stephanie.
Yes, it's Stephanie.
No, it's Stephanie.
Yes, it's Stephanie, Roger.
(G major) Yes, it's, it's Stephanie,
it's (F sharp minor) your wife.
(G major) Oh, in love with my wife,
Stephanie. Yes.
Well, this is a perfectly understandable thing,
Roger.
She's a very attractive woman.
I married her myself. I don't see why you
should feel upset about that.
But she's in love with me.
Well, this again is perfectly
understandable, Roger.
I mean, you're a perfectly attractive human being,
as I've told you over the last
few weeks.
There's nothing repulsive about you,
is there?
There's no reason why a
highly -sexed woman
such as Stephanie
shouldn't fall in love with you.
And I must explain to you, Roger,
that I'm a very busy man.
I have many, many patients, you see.
I see rather less of my wife, perhaps,
than I should and I think it's very understandable
that she should seek some
sort of companionship
outside the marriage.
I don't think that's unreasonable
at she's not seeking anything outside marriage,
Dr. Braintree, and nor am I. We want to get married.
Well, this again, I think,
is perfectly understandable.
After all, you're two young
people in love.
You want to manifest
your love feelings
within the confines of a bourgeois
society through marriage.
I think this is very appropriate.
The odd thing is, you see, I should
feel so grateful to you
for what you've done for me.
all I can feel is this burning jealousy.
I can't bear the thought
of you touching her.
Well, of course you can't.
I can understand that.
One is tremendously
possessive
about someone one loves.
One is tremendously possessive.
It would be unhealthy
not to have this jealousy reaction,
Roger.
But don't you see, I hate you for it
course you hate me,
I for being so near her
Yes, of course you hate me, Roger
You love to hate the one who loves the
one you hate to love to love
This is a very old rule, Roger
There's nothing to feel ashamed
about
It's absolutely reasonable
Don't you understand?
I want to kill you
Of course you want to kill me
Because by killing me, Roger,
you eradicate the one you
hate
This is a perfectly natural reaction,
Roger
You're so reasonable, aren't you?
Yes, I am
You understand it all so much
You're so logical
Yes, I am.
(F major) It's my I'm going to have to
(G major) kill you now!
Ah, (G major) Roger, this is a little inconvenient,
because I (G major) have another patient at 6 .30,
and then there's somebody else at
7 after that.
I wonder if you could make
it sometime next week.
Could you (G major) make it early
in the week, sir?
When? When do you think?
How are you fixed on Wednesday
mornings, sir, at 9 .30?
Would that be convenient?
Uh, yes, that's perfect.
Right, well, um, if you could pop along
at 9 .30 and kill me then.
Once again, Dr. Braintree,
I'm amazed, you know, really.
I'm so grateful to you for,
you know, showing me the way.
It's what I'm here for, Roger.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
And with a bit of luck,
this should be the last time
you need to visit me.
The Psychiatrist
Peter Cook & Dudley Moore
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