I'm just a simple modest chap
as any inn can see.
I'm easy to get on with
if you'll just agree with me.
And yet there's folk that scorn me,
then they ask the reason why.
Whenever I show my face they roar,
no agents need apply.
When first I came to London,
it was an office echt to see
Folk singing up and down
the place we used to leave for me
So today, tonight, or any time,
you never will repent
If you join the happy family
that pays me 10 %
It was me invented folk song,
and I've made it all the go
I'm counting all the folk clubs
as an impresario,
Or tradition, it was day
until I set it on its feet,
And dragged it by the short hairs
down the length of Denmark Street.
I breathed on it and gave it life
and sent it to the top,
I knew you'd hardly care
it fae the music they cop -pop.
So today, tonight, or any time,
you never will repent
If you join the happy family
that pays me ten percent
I met a laddy far in the north,
a wee bit feckless boy
I kent that he had talent
by his suit, a corduroy
So I walked up close behind him,
and I whispered in his lug
I knew the lad's a steamer's only wheel -train poodle,
Doug.
Knew he sings for bobby
-soxers on the telly,
that's no lie.
And yet there's folks still say to me,
no agents need apply.
So today, tonight, or any time,
you never will repent,
If you join the happy family
that pays me ten percent.
They say a wee bit talent
helps a lad to get ahead
But my singers have no need o' it,
for they've got me instead
Their trust in me is boundless,
though there are still some who cry
Get back to Tin Pan Alley,
for no agents need apply
I can o' a boot show business,
and there's nothin'
I don't know
I've been hanging around the fringes
for the last three years or so
So today, tonight, our only time,
you never will repent
If you join the happy family
that pays me ten percent
Oh, little did my mother think
when first she cradled me
That I would be a big shot
in the folk song industry
My rise has been spectacular,
there's no one can deny
Except the aura folk
who say no agents need apply
In the programs that are seedy
or the budget's somewhat low
I can get a cut rate spot
for you up on the radio
So today, tonight,
or any time,
you never will repent
If you join the happy family,
that pays me ten percent.