Menopausal Middle-Aged Women (Are So Damn Acute) chords by Geoff Oelsner
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Verse 1
(D major) I will (G major) eulogize the menopausal (C major) wo men
till my voice goes (A major) mute
They're self -validating (D major) all the way down
to their graying root (G major) s (D major)
Since we men (G major) are from Mars,
most of those sharp points of ours
Are some kind of (C major) stupid nonvenution
and (A major) a moot
To them menopausal (D major)
middle -aged women
who are so cute (G major) (D major)
My love (G major) for the menopausal (C major) women
is absolute
(G major) Yeah, (A major) too bad it's not mutual
When she (D major) yells, where'd you hide my first,
you brute?
You better tell her, please don't shoot
(G major) Well, I was reaching for my can (D major) of mace
Oh, just look (G major) once more in your car
Is that it in your left hand there, honey?
(C major) Lordy, it's a howl and a hoot (A major)
How them menopausal (D major)
middle -aged women
are so acute (G major)
(D major) They say we're (G major) going to a croning
for a (C major) crony who has turned in 55
(A major) Whoa, he's in trouble now
Man, you (D major) better not plan to touch that one
if you want to stay alive (G major) (D major)
Between hot (G major) flashes and skin rashes
And horrible hormonal transmuta (C major) tions
in their moods and sex (A major) drives
The (D major) menopausal women
don't want to hear no
masculine jive. (G major)
That's why there's (D major) just two more verses.
(G major) Menopausal middle -aged wo (C major) men
are so damned (G major) acute. (A major)
Not so demure (D major) and dewy
-eyed now.
They're in touch with their
inner old (G major) coots,
their old galoots.
(D major) So use some rectitude, (G major) respect,
stay politically correct,
And in all (C major) your doings be astute.
(A major) Unless (D major) you want a fast kick in the ass
from a lass with a massive boot. (G major) (D major) (G major)
Oh, he put his (C major) foot in it now.
At least my (A major) feet don't smell bad.
Yeah, and we (D major) don't have
three foot nose hairs.
And even worse, (G major) ear hairs. (D major)
(G major) You know, if he didn't
have that cock belly,
my sex drive would be just (C major) fine. (G major) (A major) (D major)
Man, I know. (G major) (D major) (G major) (D major)
I will eu (G major) logize the menopausal (C major) wo men
till my (G major) voice goes. (A major) (D major)
(A major) They're self -val (D major) idating all the way down
to their graying (G major) roots.
In your case, we're seed (D major) ing roots.
Since we (G major) men are from Mars,
most of the sharp points of ours.
Some kind of (C major) stupid non
-venution and (A major) mood.
To them men (D major) opausal
middle -aged women
who are so acute
(G major) They may (D major) give men (E major) pauses
But those menopausal (A major)
middle -aged wo (D major) men
are so acute (G major)
Hey, (C major) I know this bar
(G major) where we can pick up
a couple of 30 -year -old guys
Sounds good to me
Menopausal Middle-Aged Women (Are So Damn Acute)
Geoff Oelsner
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