Menopausal Middle-Aged Women (Are So Damn Acute) chords by Geoff Oelsner
Verse 1
D
G
C
I will eulogize the menopausal wo men
A
till my voice goes mute
D
They're self -validating all the way down
G
D
to their graying roots
G
Since we men are from Mars,
most of those sharp points of ours
C
Are some kind of stupid nonvenution
A
and a moot
D
To them menopausal
middle -aged women
G
D
who are so cute
G
C
My love for the menopausal women
is absolute
G
A
Yeah, too bad it's not mutual
D
When she yells, where'd you hide my first,
you brute?
You better tell her, please don't shoot
G
D
Well, I was reaching for my can of mace
G
Oh, just look once more in your car
Is that it in your left hand there, honey?
C
A
Lordy, it's a howl and a hoot
D
How them menopausal
middle -aged women
G
are so acute
D
G
They say we're going to a croning
C
for a crony who has turned in 55
A
Whoa, he's in trouble now
D
Man, you better not plan to touch that one
G
D
if you want to stay alive
G
Between hot flashes and skin rashes
C
And horrible hormonal transmutations
A
in their moods and sex drives
D
The menopausal women
don't want to hear no
G
masculine jive.
D
That's why there's just two more verses.
G
C
Menopausal middle -aged women
G
A
are so damned acute.
D
Not so demure and dewy
-eyed now.
They're in touch with their
G
inner old coots,
their old galoots.
D
G
So use some rectitude, respect,
stay politically correct,
C
And in all your doings be astute.
A
D
Unless you want a fast kick in the ass
G
D
G
from a lass with a massive boot.
C
Oh, he put his foot in it now.
A
At least my feet don't smell bad.
D
Yeah, and we don't have
three foot nose hairs.
G
D
And even worse, ear hairs.
G
You know, if he didn't
have that cock belly,
C
G
A
D
my sex drive would be just fine.
G
D
G
D
Man, I know.
G
C
I will eulogize the menopausal wo men
G
A
D
till my voice goes.
A
D
They're self -validating all the way down
G
to their graying roots.
D
In your case, we're seeding roots.
G
Since we men are from Mars,
most of the sharp points of ours.
C
Some kind of stupid non
A
-venution and mood.
D
To them menopausal
middle -aged women
who are so acute
G
D
E
They may give men pauses
A
But those menopausal
D
middle -aged women
G
are so acute
C
Hey, I know this bar
G
where we can pick up
a couple of 30 -year -old guys
Sounds good to me
Menopausal Middle-Aged Women (Are So Damn Acute)
Geoff Oelsner
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