Judge Roy Bean's Court (Tall Tale) chords by Johnny Bond
Verse 1
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Welcome to Langtree,
partners.
That building you see there
is the famous Jersey Lily.
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Both the saloon and the town were named
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af ter the beautiful actress Lily Langtree
by her lifelong admirer,
Judge Roy Bean,
also known as the judge, jury,
and bartender.
His law west of the Pecos
became known far and wide.
You are now about to witness
one of his famous trials.
Come this way please
and have a seat on this
empty beer keg.
Judge Roy Bean is coming in.
Over there we see the defendant
with his lawyer.
Here comes the judge Johnny.
Now just don't be nervous.
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I'm right here beside you.
Yeah that's what's
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making me nervous.
Just leave everything to me.
Sounds like you're making out my will.
G
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All I have to do is to say I object
and we'll have old Judge Bean
right where we want him.
And all he's got to do
is say, string him up
and my goose is cooked.
G
Quiet now, John.
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The judge is about to speak.
Now this here court is now
in session.
If any of you glutes want to snort,
you better name your poison
quick.
Bar is going to be closed
till recess
while we're hanging the first fireman here.
G
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Now let's see, it says here,
the people of Texas
against one Johnny Bond.
Yeah, sounds kind of one -sided,
don't it?
Don't sound funny to me.
All right, Johnny Byrne,
what brought you here?
Them two marshals over
there, Judge.
Mm -hmm.
Drunk, I suppose.
Yes, sir.
Both of them.
And who is this vicious -looking
maverick with you?
That's my lawyer.
That's right, Mr. Bean.
I'm here to see that this man gets
his lawful just desserts.
I don't think
I'm gonna like that dessert.
Now, too much gab out of you, lawyer,
will string you up, too.
I ain't saying another word.
All right, step up to the bar,
both of you.
I thought you said the bar was
closed.
It's closed if and I say it is.
Now step up here.
No thanks, I don't drink.
The case will now be opened.
Well, you guys split it.
I ain't touching a drop.
Order in the court!
Well, you twisted my arm.
I'll have a short beer.
You fool with me
and you'll have a long rope.
The defendant will now be
sworn in.
You mean I gotta tell the truth,
the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth?
So help me, Lily.
C
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Then I'm a lick before we start.
You know, you look suspicious
to me.
Are you sure you ain't been
in prison before?
Not me, no, sir.
Definitely not.
Absolutely not.
Positively not.
G
State your name.
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687 -934 -5...
I mean, my name is John Cyrus
Whitfield Slim Whiffletree Bond.
I have checked. Me too.
I never did like the ding -ding, no way.
All right, let's get a move on here.
I'm starting to get thirsty.
Now then, it says here
that you're charged
with beating up your wife
and then choking her.
Guilty or not guilty?
Uh, what's that again,
Guilty or not guilty?
You don't give a fella much choice,
do you?
Guilty or not guilty?
I object!
Am I overworking you,
lawyer old buddy?
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Now young man,
where were you
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on the night of June 3rd?
I was home.
You should have been with me,
we had a ball.
I heard you got Stinko.
I'm tempted to give you
20 years in jail for that.
Now wait a minute judge,
yield not to temptation.
20 years it is.
I object.
Just for that make it 30 years.
I object.
40 years. object.
60 30 years.
Quiet down.
G
Now then,
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let's start back at the first.
What was your first offer again judge?
I might be lenient with you young man,
if I I could just remember where
it was that I seen you before.
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Well, that's easy, Judge.
I'm the guy that beat your time
with Miss Lily Langtry.
So, you're the one!
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10 years at hard labor!
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I object! Make it 30 years!
I object! 40 years!
I object! 50 years!
Let me out of here!
I object!
Let me out of here!
I object!
A
D
I object!
I object!
Judge Roy Bean's Court (Tall Tale)
Johnny Bond
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