I Am the Douche (Oh No!) chords by Jonathan Mann

SimplifiedD · G · F#m · A

GuitarPianoUkulele

Verse 1
D 
G 
D 
There was this guy on the plane,
F#m 
who I was quite sure
A 
was a douche.
G 
He was watching Green Lantern,
A 
and doing lots of douchey things.
G 
D 
He was yelling at the screen,
A 
F#m 
A 
he's getting  pretty rowdy.
G 
And the douchiest thing of all
A 
G 
D 
G 
D 
A 
is that it's such a bad movie
G 
But then the plane it landed
A 
F#m 
overheard his   conversation
A 
G 
With the elderly couple in front of him
A 
He seemed like a really nice guy
G 
D 
I felt bad about judging him,
F#m 
as    open the over had been
G 
My baritone uke fell out,
A 
and hit the woman he was talking
to on the head
G 
D 
A 
And so I am the dude, oh yeah
D 
I am the dude
G 
D 
A 
I thought he was a dude, but no
G 
In my smug satisfaction,
F#m 
my close -minded small reactions
G 
D 
A 
D 
G 
D 
A 
Turns out I  am the dish, oh no, oh no
G 
D 
I stepped out into the street
A 
F#m 
One very late night in Brooklyn
G 
A cab almost hit me
A 
My girlfriend, she pulled me back
G 
D 
She yelled out at the cab
A 
F#m 
And  she threw the only
thing that she had
A 
G 
A 
Which unfortunately was her wallet
It got stuck on the back of the trunk
G 
And as we set off running
D 
F#m 
I  expressed  to her my annoyance
G 
Hey, why'd you throw your
wallet?
A 
What the hell was go
ing through your mind?
G 
D 
A 
But later on I realized she was
F#m 
just so angry and scared
G 
She was only trying to protect me
A 
And I reacted like a douche
G 
D 
And so I  am the douche
A 
D 
Oh yeah, I  am the douche
G 
D 
I thought she was the douche
A 
But, no
G 
D 
And my smug satisfaction
F#m 
My closed -minded small reaction
G 
D 
Turns out I am the douche
A 
Oh, no
D 
G 
D 
A 
Oh, no
G 
D 
Well, I think douching as a practice
F#m 
seems pretty silly.
A 
G 
After all, don't vaginas mostly
A 
take care of themselves?
G 
D 
So douche as an insult
F#m 
G 
is    actually really fitting to describe
how it feels
A 
when you overthink it all to hell.
G 
For a while I lived in New York City
D 
F#m 
A 
and I'd go to Williamsburg,
G 
and I'd look at all the hipsters
A 
And I'd think, man, there goes a douche
G 
D 
Can be hard not to judge
A 
F#m 
It's only ourselves we    see
A 
G 
Reflected in others' choices
A 
G 
D 
G 
It turns out that the douche is me
A 
G 
D 
And so I  am the dude,
A 
D 
oh yeah, I  am the dude
G 
D 
A 
I thought they were the dude, but no
G 
With my smug satisfaction,
D 
F#m 
A 
I close my dead small reaction
G 
D 
Turns out I am the dude, oh no
A 
D 
G 
Oh, no.
D 
A 
D 
G 
A 
G 
D 