How To Succeed With Girls (Without Half-Way Trying) chords by 
Johnny Bond 
N/A
Key: C minor•
Verse 1
Cm
C
Cm
C
Now,
G
C
G
C
you want to be a ladies' man,
Cm
let me tell you how to do it.
C
It's a lead pipe cinch,
F
ain't nothing to it.
Fm
F
C
Just listen to me while I lay it on thick.
When I get through, man,
G
you'll have to beat them off with a stick.
Fm
F
C
G
I mean, they'll mob you.
Cm
Now, first you go in the bathroom
G
C
Cm
and you take a nice cold shower.
Don't stay in the water too long,
F
say about three quarters of an hour.
Cm
C
Now plaster your crew cut down good
Cm
with some of that greasy kid stuff.
G
Fm
Don't overdo it though,
F
Cm
C
about half a pint ought to be enough.
Cm
G
C
I mean to tell you that's slick.
G
Go over to a used car lot now
Cm
C
G
C
and pick out the oldest Model T there.
F
Fm
Don't pay more than five bucks for it.
F
Cm
Be sure some of the tires hold air.
C
G
Drive around the block
Fm
F
by her house fifty times or more
Cm
Honk your horn real loud
G
Cm
and beat a hammer on the tin door
G
Cm
C
Cm
C
Cm
Noisy man, noisy
C
Fm
F
When she waves out the
Fm
window at you,
F
Cm
you drive off and look the oth er way
C
Then go home and call
her on the phone
G
Fm
F
Pardon me, wrong number, you say
C
Then you hang up on her
and don't call her back for
G
Cm
five or ten minutes
C
Don't stay on the phone too long now.
Cm
Two or three hours ought to get it.
F
Cm
Party line.
Tell her you're looking in
C
your date book
G
and you got two nights open next May.
Fm
F
Cm
But say if a cancellation comes through,
G
you'll let her know right away.
C
G
Have her take down your
Cm
new phone number
C
Cm
and call you back .
F
Then you lift the re ceiver
off the hook a while.
C
That'll throw her off the track.
G
Go lock the front door,
F
Cm
cause she'll be coming over
with mud in her eyes.
Make faces at her through the window
C
and wave bye -bye.
Cm
Now you see, fellas?
C
Cm
F
Now you got her chasing after you.
After all, this is the very thing
Cm
we started out to do.
G
Cm
G
Well, you guys all run along now
F
and have a good time dat ing.
Cm
Me, I'll just sit home by my
G
self watch ing TV.
Outro 1
C
Cm
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TunerE A D G B E
ChordsCm C G F Fm
Cm
C
G
F
Fm
Capo: 3
Transpose: 0
0
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