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How To Succeed With Girls (Without Half-Way Trying) chords by 
Johnny Bond
N/A•
Verse 1
Am
A
Am
A
Now,
E
A
E
A
you want to be a ladies' man,
Am
let me tell you how to do it.
A
It's a lead pipe cinch,
D
ain't nothing to it.
Dm
D
A
Just listen to me while I lay it on thick.
When I get through, man,
E
you'll have to beat them off with a stick.
Dm
D
A
E
I mean, they'll mob you.
Am
Now, first you go in the bathroom
E
A
Am
and you take a nice cold shower.
Don't stay in the water too long,
D
say about three quarters of an hour.
Am
A
Now plaster your crew cut down good
Am
with some of that greasy kid stuff.
E
Dm
Don't overdo it though,
D
Am
A
about half a pint ought to be enough.
Am
E
A
I mean to tell you that's slick.
E
Go over to a used car lot now
Am
A
E
A
and pick out the oldest Model T there.
D
Dm
Don't pay more than five bucks for it.
D
Am
Be sure some of the tires hold air.
A
E
Drive around the block
Dm
D
by her house fifty times or more
Am
Honk your horn real loud
E
Am
and beat a hammer on the tin door
E
Am
A
Am
A
Am
Noisy man, noisy
A
Dm
D
When she waves out the
Dm
window at you,
D
Am
you drive off and look the other way
A
Then go home and call
her on the phone
E
Dm
D
Pardon me, wrong number, you say
A
Then you hang up on her
and don't call her back for
E
Am
five or ten minutes
A
Don't stay on the phone too long now.
Am
Two or three hours ought to get it.
D
Am
Party line.
Tell her you're looking in
A
your date book
E
and you got two nights open next May.
Dm
D
Am
But say if a cancellation comes through,
E
you'll let her know right away.
A
E
Have her take down your
Am
new phone number
A
Am
and call you back.
D
Then you lift the receiver
off the hook a while.
A
That'll throw her off the track.
E
Go lock the front door,
D
Am
cause she'll be coming over
with mud in her eyes.
Make faces at her through the window
A
and wave bye -bye.
Am
Now you see, fellas?
A
Am
D
Now you got her chasing after you.
After all, this is the very thing
Am
we started out to do.
E
Am
E
Well, you guys all run along now
D
and have a good time dating.
Am
Me, I'll just sit home by my
E
self watching TV.
Outro 1
A
Am
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