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got no beard chords by 
The Longest Johns
N/A•
Verse 1
G
C
I once met a man who said he was a fan
G
He wanted to sing in my shanty band
C
But the bottom of his face looked
weird (so weird!)
There was skin on his chin that I
loathed and feared
From his crown to ear he was
most sincere
But you can't sing shanties
if you got no beard
F
C
Got no beard, you've got no
Verse 2
beard
G
You can't sing shanties if
C
you've got no beard
F
C
Got no beard, you've got no beard
G
You can't sing shanties
C
if you've got no beard
Verse 3
C
I once met a girl who heard sea songs
G
She came to the show,
and she sang along
C
But the timing of the shout
was slow (so slow!)
She was graced with a face
like the morning glow
But a hollar was a blow from the
very front row said
You can't sing shanties if you
can't shout "Ho!"
F
Can't shout
Verse 4
"Ho!" you
C
can't shout "Ho!"
G
You can't sing shanties if you
C
can't shout "Ho!"
F
Can't shout "Ho!",
C
you can't shout "Ho!"
G
You can't sing shanties if you
C
can't shout "Ho!"
And you've got no beard
Verse 5
G
C
I once met a man on a weird machine
Had wheels and a bell,
G
no mast to be seen
B
He was shouting from a pad of
C
notes (nonotes!)
G
And the wheels got caught
on his overcoat
And he fell from the pier
clawing at his throat
C
So you can't sing shanties if
you don't own a boat
F
Don't own
Verse 6
C
a boat, you don't own a boat
G
You can't sing shanties if you
C
don't own a boat
F
Don't own a boat,
C
you don't own a boat!
G
C
You can't sing shanties if
you don't own a boat
And you can't shout "Ho!"
Verse 7
And you've got no beard
C
I once met a bloke on a tavern floor
He'd had ten beers,
but I had ten more
And his piggy little face
was pink (so pink!)
He tried to shout the words,
but t'were all out of sync
With a voice so bad it'll
make you think that
You can't sing shanties if you
G
can't hold your drink
D
C
Can't hold your drink, you can't hold
Verse 8
C
a drink
G
You can't sing shanties if you
F
can't hold your drink
You can't hold a drink you
C
can't hold a drink
G
You can't sing shanties if you
C
can't hold your drink
And you don't own a boat
And you can't shout "Ho!"
Verse 9
And you've got no beard
C
G
C
I once met a sailor all big and broad
With an eye- patch,
parrot and a long curved sword
Had a chest like a powder
keg (big chest)
But he had both shoes,
and he smelled like eggs
I expect he would look better
with a wooden peg
'Cause you can't sing
G
shanties if you got two legs
F
C
Got two legs, you've got two
Verse 10
legs
G
You can't sing shanties if
you've got two legs
F
C
Got two legs, you've got two legs
G
You can't sing shanties
if you've got two legs
C
G
And you can't hold your drink
C
And you don't own a boat
C#
And you can't shout "Ho!"
C
And you've got no beard
Verse 11
G
C
Well, Anna's got no beard
And Dave, he has a bike
D
C
Robbie's father- in- law has boats,
but won't sing on the mic
And JD can't shout "Ho!" because
his wife takes much offense
F
C
G
And Andy's got two beautiful hairy legs
C
G
But there's no reason good
C
enough not to join us
Em
D
So sing along with the very
G
Fdim
G
last chor us
C
Two, three,
Verse 12
G
four
F
C
Got no beard, you've got no beard
G
You can't sing shanties if
you've got no beard
F
C
Got no beard, you've got no beard
G
You can't sing shanties if
C#
you've got no beard
C
Got no beard, you've got no beard
G
Ab
You can't sing shanties if
C
F
you've got no beard
F#
C
Got no beard, you've got no
Verse 13
beard
G
You can't sing shanties
C
if you've got no beard
D
And you've got two legs
C#
And you can't hold your drink
And you don't own a boat
C
And you can't shout "Ho!"
D
G
C
C
And you've got no beard
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