Everything You Know Is Wrong chords by
Weird Al Yankovic
Weird Al Yankovic

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Key: D major
Intro 1
D
D

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C
C

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G
G

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A
A

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D
D

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Verse 1
G
G

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I was driving on the
A
A

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D
D

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freeway in the fast lane
G
G

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A
A

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Bm
Bm

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With a rabid wolverine in my underwear
A
A

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E
E

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When suddenly a guy be
A
A

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hind me in the back seat
G
G

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Popped right up and cupped his
D
D

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hands across my eyes
G
G

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I guessed, "Is it Uncle
A
A

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D
D

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Frank or Cousin Louie?
G
G

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A
A

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Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?
Bm
Bm

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A
A

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Could it be Bill or Jim or
E
E

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Ed or Bernie or Steve?"
A
A

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I probably would have kept on guessing
But about that time we
Bm
Bm

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crashed into the truck
E
E

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And as I'm laying bleeding
A
A

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there on the asphalt
D
D

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G
G

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D
D

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Em
Em

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Finally I recognize the face of
G
G

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my hibachi dealer
A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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F#m
F#m

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Who takes off his prosthetic
A
A

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D
D

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lips and tells me
G
G

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A
A

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Everything you know is wrong
D
D

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Black is white,
G
G

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A
A

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Bm
Bm

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up is down and short is long
A
A

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E
E

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A
A

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And everything you thought was just so
G
G

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A
A

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F#m
F#m

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E
E

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important does n't matter
D
D

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G
G

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A
A

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D
D

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Everything you know is wrong
F#
F#

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Bm
Bm

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Just forget the words and sing along
A
A

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E
E

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All you need to understand is
G
G

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A
A

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Everything you know is wrong
F
F

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G
G

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Verse 2
D
D

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G
G

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I was walkin' to the kitchen for
A
A

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D
D

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some Golden Grahams
G
G

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A
A

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When I accidentally stepped in
F#
F#

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Bm
Bm

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A
A

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E
E

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to a alternate dimension
A
A

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And soon I was abducted by
G
G

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some aliens from space
D
D

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Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr
G
G

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A
A

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They sucked out my internal organs
D
D

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And they took some Polaroids and
G
G

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A
A

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F#
F#

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said I was a darn good sport
Bm
Bm

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A
A

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E
E

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And as a way of saying thank you
A
A

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They offered to transport me back to any
Bm
Bm

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point in history that I would care to go
E
E

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And so I had them send me
A
A

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back to last Thursday night
D
D

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G
G

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D
D

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So I could pay my phone bill on time
Em
Em

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G
G

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A
A

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Just then the disembodied head of Colonel
G
G

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F#m
F#m

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A
A

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Sanders star ted yelling
Verse 3
D
D

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G
G

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A
A

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D
D

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Everything you know is wrong
Black is white,
G
G

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A
A

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Bm
Bm

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up is down and short is long
A
A

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E
E

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A
A

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And everything you thought was just so
G
G

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A
A

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F#m
F#m

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E
E

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important does n't matter
D
D

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G
G

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A
A

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Everything you know is wrong
D
D

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C#sus4
C#sus4

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Just forget the word
F#
F#

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Bm
Bm

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s and sing along
A
A

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E
E

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All you need to understand is
G
G

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A
A

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Everything you know is wrong
Interlude 1
D
D

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G
G

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A
A

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G
G

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Bm
Bm

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G
G

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E
E

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F#
F#

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G
G

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A
A

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C
C

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F
F

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G
G

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Am
Am

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Bb
Bb

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Am
Am

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Bb
Bb

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G
G

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C
C

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Dm
Dm

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Eb
Eb

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F
F

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Fm
Fm

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F#
F#

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A
A

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Am
Am

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Bb
Bb

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G
G

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C
C

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A
A

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D
D

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Verse 4
G
G

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I was just about to mail a
A
A

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D
D

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letter to my evil twin
G
G

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A
A

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Bm
Bm

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When I got a nasty paper cut
A
A

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E
E

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And, well, to make a long story short
A
A

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G
G

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It got infected and I died
D
D

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So now I'm up in heaven with St.
G
G

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A
A

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D
D

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Peter by the pearly gates
G
G

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A
A

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And it's obvious he doesn't like the
Bm
Bm

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A
A

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E
E

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Nehru jacket that I'm wearing
A
A

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He tells me that they've
got a dress code
Bm
Bm

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E
E

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Well, he lets me into heaven anyway
A
A

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D
D

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G
G

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But I get the room next to the noisy
D
D

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Em
Em

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G
G

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ice machine for all eternity
A
A

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G
G

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F#m
F#m

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And every day he runs
A
A

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by screaming
Verse 5
D
D

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G
G

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A
A

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D
D

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Everything you know is wrong
Black is white,
G
G

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A
A

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Bm
Bm

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up is down and short is long
A
A

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E
E

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And everything you thought was just so important
A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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F#m
F#m

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E
E

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doesn't matter
D
D

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G
G

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A
A

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Everything you know is wrong
D
D

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F#
F#

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Bm
Bm

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Just forget the words and sing along
A
A

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E
E

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All you need to understand
G
G

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A
A

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G
G

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A
A

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is
D
D

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G
G

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A
A

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D
D

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Everything you know is wrong

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