Bizarre Christmas Incident chords by 
Ben Folds 
N/A4 views
Key: E major•
Verse 1
A
E
B
F#
B
D#dim
(Ho ho ho!)
Verse 2
E
A
Hey grand pa, let's tell them the little
F#
story about this Christmas
B
(Yeah tell 'em,
E
A
F#
tell 'em about Christmas!)
Verse 3
B
E
Christmas Eve,
Am
A
I didn't get much sleep
F#
B
I kept hearing thing s
E
Heavy breath ing from the chimney,
Am
A
E
who could it be?
F#
(I know who
Verse 4
it was)
B
(What happened then, Ben?)
(Yeah, what happened?)
D#dim
E
I went back to sleep
A
F#
(Back to sleep ? Shit!)
I'm tired if I don't have sleep
B
D#dim
E
A
E
A
Verse 5
F#
B
And in the morn'
E
Am
A
E
F#
I couldn't believe my eye s
B
A whale of a corpse
E
With a long white beard was
Am
hangin' over the fire
A
Oh, Santa's
Verse 6
F#
B
he's a big fat fuck
E
Went down the chimney
A
got his fat ass suck
E
F#
B
Oh honey call the lawyers fast
E
A
'Cause Mrs. Claus is gonna sue my ass
C#
Hey hey
Verse 7
F#
B
hey (hey!) yeah
E
(Oh h, oh o h)
Am
A
Verse 8
F#
B
Ok grandpa, step up
D#dim
E
Sing in this thing right here
Tell them what you saw,
A
tell them what you saw grandpa
Verse 9
F#
Bbdim
B
E
I gotta tell you folk s
He wasn't wearin' no
A
clothes (no clothes!)
F#
He must have rubbed the whole
B
gallon of Crisco off
D#dim
E
A
From his back and down to his toes
F#
Well, I was
Verse 10
B
talking to the cops out side
E
Am
The dog was lickin' Crisco off of his thighs
A
F#
B
They hauled him away in a double wide
E
A
What a sad, sad way to die,
F#
hey hey hey!
Verse 11
F#
B
Santa's he's a big fat fuck
E
Went down the chimney
got his fat ass stuck
Oh honey call the lawyers fast
B
Mrs. Claus is gonna sue our ass
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TunerE A D G B E
ChordsA E B F# D#dim...
A
E
B
F#
D#dim
Am
C#
Bbdim
Capo: 2
Transpose: 0
0
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