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Bizarre Christmas Incident chords by
Ben Folds
Ben Folds

N/A
Verse 1
G
D
A
E
A
C#dim

(Ho ho ho!)
Verse 2
D
G

Hey grandpa, let's tell them the little
E

story about this Christmas
A

(Yeah tell 'em,
D
G
E

tell 'em about Christmas!)
Verse 3
A
D

Christmas Eve,
Gm
G

I didn't get much sleep
E
A

I kept hearing things
D

Heavy breathing from the chimney,
Gm
G
D

who could it be?
E
(Iknow who
Verse 4

it was)
A

(What happened then, Ben?)

(Yeah, what happened?)
C#dim
D

I went back to sleep
G
E

(Back to sleep? Shit!)

I'm tired if I don't have sleep
A
C#dim

D
G
D
G
Verse 5
E

A

And in the morn'
D
Gm
G
D
E

I couldn't believe my eyes
A

A whale of a corpse
D

With a long white beard was
Gm

hangin' over the fire
G
Oh, Santa's
Verse 6
E
A

he's a big fat fuck
D

Went down the chimney
G

got his fat ass suck
D
E
A

Oh honey call the lawyers fast
D
G

'Cause Mrs. Claus is gonna sue my ass
B
Hey hey
Verse 7
E
A

hey (hey!) yeah
D

(Ohh, oh oh)
Gm
G
Verse 8
E

A

Ok grandpa, step up
C#dim
D

Sing in this thing right here

Tell them what you saw,
G

tell them what you saw grandpa
Verse 9
E
Abdim
A
D

I gotta tell you folks

He wasn't wearin' no
G

clothes (no clothes!)
E

He must have rubbed the whole
A

gallon of Crisco off
C#dim
D
G

From his back and down to his toes
E
Well, I was
Verse 10
A

talking to the cops outside
D
Gm

The dog was lickin' Crisco off of his thighs
G
E
A

They hauled him away in a double wide
D
G

What a sad, sad way to die,
E

hey hey hey!
Verse 11
E
A

Santa's he's a big fat fuck
D

Went down the chimney

got his fat ass stuck

Oh honey call the lawyers fast
A

Mrs. Claus is gonna sue our ass

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Chords
  • G

  • D

  • A

  • E

  • C#dim

    4
  • Gm

    3
  • B

    2
  • Abdim

    6

Capo: 2

Transpose: 0

0

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