The problems of the modern man
Wondering what I should do next
So sitting up most cautiously
Slowly I stretch and shake my head,
All tense now, for I must decide
Which side to leave the bed.
The point to first consider is
The side of the bed most near.
Causes me endless nights of fear
I'm nearer to the left side
But it's farther from the door
I guess the next point to consider
Is the temperature of the floor
The floor is surely freezing,
for we never get much heat.
It would surely start me sneezing,
travelling forth in naked feet.
But I do not let that panic me,
with a clear and level head,
Recollecting that I retired last night
From the other side of the bed.
And so the key of memory,
My nights are full of terror,
my days are getting worse.
It seems I never can decide
which sock to put on first.