Stuck At Jon Lovitz's chords by Jef Leeson
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Verse 1
(G major) (E minor) (G major) Okay, so, it's Friday night around 3
a .m. and I finally get some dream sleep.
I'm in the house where I grew
up with Sharon,
the middle of three sisters.
Doing Saturday morning chores,
we both dust and we sweep.
Bitchin' about moving (E minor) things, too,
(G major) an d gettin' frickin' blisters.
It's awkward navigating the
old wooden stairs,
tryin' to be quiet.
The cabinet and chest are too brittle
and they fall apart in our hands.
Of course, Dad wakes up
and predictably yells,
What's the damn riot?
But we ignore him.
Then we ridicule the obvious
reprimand. (F major) (E minor) (G major)
Just before we put thing (A flatdim)
s where they all (G major) belong,
I take a good look at the
hardwood floor
stripped of the dusty old carpet.
Inspecting the ancient installation,
it was plain what went wrong.
They used finishing nails (F major) for the job.
(G major) Shitty? You bet.
At (F major) tending to (G major) where Shelby, our dog,
(F major) and Sigmund, (C major) our cat.
I (G major) should have been (F sharp major) out swimming, (G major)
biking,
or other stuff like that.
Instead, I was there,
noticing the coffee table drawers
could store a guitar, too, and hearing my folks whine
about going out somewhere later that night.
In the kitchen,
(F major) there's two open (G major) fridges
facing each other,
defrosting (F major) their residue, (G major)
and an Avana washer -dryer set
Sharon claimed outright.
The puny porch out front
needs a rent for Shelby,
better built from left.
Pooch is getting old, 15 now,
isn't long for this world.
Hear a bit of thunder now,
but see only blue skies to
the west.
Though some idiot's burning
tires down the street,
smoke is black and it curls. (F major) (E minor) (G major)
I step out on the sidewalk
to get a better look up to the north,
and what do you know?
Clouds everywhere,
(F major) black as (G major) the tires in the barrel
fire down (E minor) the street.
(G major) Strange as the shape of the first foot
in the cloud seemed,
or the third or the fourth,
The fact it was suddenly winter
made the existentialism complete.
Sensing (E flat major) movement in (G major) my legs,
(C major) I realized (F major) I was walk (C major) ing.
(G major) Sharon, Shelby, (F major) Sigmund,
(G major) and me doing lots of talking.
Living near the edge of town,
population 248,
made a normal stroll in the woods
a very short affair.
But plowed and icy clearings let me say,
slow to negotiate.
It was now the evening,
we had flashlights, a compass,
and robust underwear.
Thereupon, appearing in a hallway,
I was holding a door ajar
when we bumped into John Lovitz
exiting on his way to his car.
Yes, the same John Lovitz
you know from SNL.
Turns out I knew him from
previous dreams.
We were coffee chums.
Did you know John acts,
writes, owns a club,
and sings really well?
(E minor) Yeah, (G major) it's these kind of details
that make my therapist go, hmm.
So, John invites Sharon and I in for
a snack and a cup of hot joe,
our two furry four -legged companions
had to put up with the haul.
The haul, (E minor) what a dank, (G major) smelly,
poorly lit alternative to the snow,
narrow, sloppy, stippled ceilings
and cracked plaster for (F major) walls. (G major)
(F major) John jumps (B flat major) into his kitchen
(G major) and says, (F major) coffee'll be quick (C major) ,
in fact, (G major) you'll got the
creamer (F major) you left here
from your (C minor) last visit, (F major) slick. (G major)
Coffee in hand, being nosy,
I'm wandering around outback,
surprised to see a rink shoveled clean
on a private pront.
Sigmund and Shelby
are playing cat and dog
round the furs in Tamarack.
I get a peek between some branches
to some well -lit neighbour's
place beyond.
Not polite to take that route,
I turn towards John's,
then veer down another path left,
looking back to town.
And what do you know?
Surprise, surprise,
the expected phenomenon.
As snow starts falling,
I return to John's and prepare
to hunker down. (F major) (D major) (G major)
(C major) Got Stuckatz's (D major) at (E flat major) John (F major) Levitz's
When (G major) I woke, (A flatdim) and I (G major) spoke (Bdim) (G major)
Is the cat still outside?
Stuck At Jon Lovitz's
Jef Leeson
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