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So I Ups To Him chords by 
Jimmy Durante 
N/A•
Verse 1
C
Bb
Ab
Bb
G
C
Ebdim
G
I was
C
walking down Park Avenue,
the other day, I was whistling,
G
D
G
Jeanine Aramia.
A fella who was coming,
in the opposite direction,
D
G
C
he bumped right into me -a.
I didn't say nothing.
F
I was gonna keep on going.
D
Don't you think he turned around and said,
Why don't you look where
G
you're going?
C
I stood aghast,
as it wasn't my fault.
D
Then he pushed me off the sidewalk
G
onto the asphalt.
C
So I upsed to him,
Am
D
and he upsed to me.
G
C
Then I upsed to him and I said,
I said it was his fault.
Ab
He said it was my fault.
G
I said it was his fault.
He said, If you don't like it,
D
Ab
C
I'll punch you right in the proboscis.
G
I was so mad,
I was frotting at the kneecaps.
C
D
So I ups to him, and he ups to me.
G
But I don't do nothing,
E
I just keeps my attitude, see?
Then I said,
F
wait a minute, wait a minute, Mac.
You might look like a lumberjack,
C
but you can't bulldoze me.
G
And with that, to show him who was boss,
I put the chip on my shoulder
D
G
and said, knock it off, knock it off.
Five minutes later, the chip was still there,
But the shoulder was gone.
C
So I ups to him again,
D
and he ups to me again.
G
So I goes my way,
C
Ebdim
and he goes my way.
D
C
Well, exhausted, fatigued,
G
and tired too,
C
I stopped at a nearby pharmacy
G
for my daily vitamins.
F
I was munching vitamin A, B, C, and D,
C
A
and was getting down to E, F, G, and H,
D
when I feels a tap on my shoulder
G
and a voice saying,
C
Have one on me, partner,
thinking it was the same chump.
G
I whirls around as quick as a flash,
C
I upstorm,
G
when I finds myself face -to -face
F
with a Westerner, a tough hombre.
C
So I stops up to him
D
and I says, pardon me, stranger,
G
C
a stone got in my shoe.
D
C
You needn't start a -cussing,
D
I haven't done anything to you.
G
C
Recognizing the drawl in my voice,
he asks me where I hails
G
from.
F
And when I said Bar Z Ranch,
Phoenix, Tombstone, Arizona,
C
A
he hits me with his leather boot,
D
blackens my eye,
knocks me down,
G
picks me up,
knocks me down, picks me up.
But I kept smiling through it all.
I had a smile.
He had his fist in my mouth
So I left him to his own resources
C
Now the scene changes
D
Three years has elapsed.
G
I've grown a perfect toupee
E
and I've prospered
F
I'm laying on the beach at Waikiki
just a millionaire on the loose
When I feel someone
tickle me on the nose
and a voice singing a lot caroos.
C
It was I remember you
G
Say, brother, I remember you
Why, you're the feller
with the big smeller
Say, I remember
After three years,
who comes back to torment me?
Knock the shoulder off McNulty
C
D
So I ups to him, and he ups to me
So I goes my way,
G
C
and he goes the way of all flesh
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Chords
C
Bb
Ab
G
Ebdim
D
F
Am
E
A
Capo: 0
Transpose: 0
0
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