brush my teeth sittin' watchin' the news
All the beaches were closed
but there was no one there
There was no fresh salad because
there's hypos in the cabbage
Staten Island disappeared at noon
And they say the midwest is
and NASA blew up the moon
The ozone layer has no ozone anymore
and you're gonna leave me
sold the Empire State to Japan
And Oliver North married William Secord
and gave birth to a little Teheran
And the Ayatollah bought a nuclear warhead
if he dies he wants to go out in style
And there's nothing to eat
that don't carry the stink
of some human waste dumped in the Nile
Well one thing is certainly true
no one here knows what to do
The radio said there were 400 dead
in some small town in Arkansas
drove into a nuclear reactor
and killed everybody he saw
Now he's on Morton Downey
and he's glowing and shining
doctors say this is a medical advance
and there's something to be learned
in every human experience
Well I know one thing that really is true
And I'm sick of it, I'm Sick of You
and then he got the mumps
and died being treated at Mt. Sinai
some wired doctor prescribed
My arms and legs are shrunk
They discovered some animal
It was an inside trader eating a rubber tire
after running over Rudy Giuliani
They say the President's dead
but no one can find his head
It's been missing now for weeks