Sex chords by Doug Benson

SimplifiedG · Em · F · Bm · Gm …

GuitarPianoUkulele

Verse 1
G 
Let me ask you guys a question.
The ladies.
This is for the ladies.
Em 
How many women here absolutely love,
F 
just cannot get enough of,
G 
Bm 
G 
having items placed into  your butt?
Gm 
G 
Yeah, do you hear that, gentlemen?
F 
G 
When you watch porn,
Em 
Um, they try to sell the notion
G 
that not only is having things in your butt
one of the best things that can
happen to you,
G 
but you can't stop thinking about
it
when it's not happening
F 
and you're just constantly wishing,
G 
why are there not things
Em 
in my ass right now?
G 
Pencils, bottles, a Mini Cooper,
Em 
Am 
G 
why aren't there things?
G 
I would be so much happier
Em 
D 
G 
if  things were in my tushy.
F 
So, and so, of course,
Am 
Bb 
no one admits to it publicly.
G 
So let me rephrase the question,
Am 
because you guys are a nice crowd,
G 
and that was a rude thing to ask.
How many women here
G 
Em 
G 
F 
love just their,
G 
it makes them so happy,
Bb 
to have objects, d 'art or otherwise,
G 
just rammed in, just pushed in,
just placed into your rear
G 
for hours and hours at a time,
but are too shy to admit it.
See, I thought I could Simon
D 
G 
Says you into someone being tricked into answering that, but I
think that it is just absolutely a myth
G 
and that it doesn't...
Hang on just a second.
Am 
This is so aggravating, but...
Em 
G 
Em 
Here, listen to this. -
G 
F 
Do you know why that's doing that?
G 
G 
I set that alarm to remind myself
that I enjoy pinball. -
And that it is out there.
F 
If you know where to look,
G 
you can go and  play it.
Like, as an adult,
you can just go and
play pinball.
Am 
Sometimes you can have a drink,
a cocktail.
F 
Step out back and smoke
G 
some weed.
But women who love to have things...
-
D 
All that stuff in there...
G 
first of all, we should not judge them.
Do not call them sluts.
They are hoarders.
G 
An d it is not their fault
that once they had one thing in there,
they wanted more.
F 
They probably have a gateway butt.
G 
G 
And also, it's just not true.
G 
Am 
It's just not a real thing.
G 
And yeah, women who like
G 
having  stuff put in there
B 
G 
are like unicorns.
Em 
Yeah, they are mythical and probably  dangerous
to have sex with.
Dude, how'd you lose your eye?
I was getting a blowjob from a unicorn.
Totally worth it.
Hashtag eye -catching.