Religion chords by Franklyn Ajaye
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Verse 1
(D major) I'm not too religious.
(E major) (D major) I don't believe in going
to (D major) church.
I don't believe in (C major) God.
So probably (D major) if there is a heaven,
I won't get in unless they have a minority
pro (B major) gram.
(D major) You (E major) laugh.
But it got me into college.
It's hard to get into college.
Well, you need those sometimes.
(D major) Jesus Christ couldn't have gotten into UCLA
if he didn't have a B average. (D major)
But I'm the Messiah.
I'm sorry your grades
are just not high enough.
You didn't get (E major) a good score
(D major) on your SAT.
Oh, but I couldn't concentrate that day
(E minor) the crucifixion was coming up. (E major) (D major)
I was trying to get the menu
(E major) to gether
for the last supper.
I had all kinds of (D major) things to do. (E major)
Just because I'm not religious
doesn't (D major) mean I'm intolerant of
(E major) people who are.
One of my good friends goes to the Princeton
(D major) Theological Seminary.
(E major) He's studying to be a pimp. (D major)
And he used to tell me things like,
Jesus is black,
man, I got proof.
He took me to his church
and that communion,
were serving wheat bread
and (E major) (G major) Kool -Aid instead of wine.
(D major)
I said, hey man, I liked
him better when he was white.
You ever go up on Hollywood (C sharp major) Boulevard,
you see a lot of interesting things
because there a
(D major) lot of Jesus freaks up there
and they're always bothering you,
passing out these little things
about Susan and (C sharp major) Tony Alamo,
whoever the hell they are.
(D major) And you know, and they came up,
one of came up to me,
he said, (E major) ye who fornic (D major) ate
will not get into heaven."
(E major) I said, man, I think you got it
(D major) wrong.
Because when I fornicate,
I am in heaven.
And you better start fornicating
so those pimples will clear up.
I don't like to go to religious funerals
because there's some hypocrisy
connected with them.
The eulogies are so phony.
They never tell the truth
about a person who's
(D major) died.
You know a rotten dude, boy,
but the minister makes him look like
a prince.
I always wanted to go to a funeral
where the minister would come out (D major) and tell a real,
truthful eulogy.
Dominus, (D major) father, I was on the bullshit.
We (E major) are gathered here (D major) today
to bury Bumpy Woods,
who died yesterday
in a car accident.
(C major) Thank God. I baptized Bumpy.
I've known him his (D major) whole life,
and I can truly say that Bumpy
was just an asshole.
(D major) he's gonna go to hell
there's no (D major) doubt about that
so (D major) why don't we just drop
the son of a bitch in the ground and split
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