One, two, one, two, three.
And what are you getting me turned?
You get nothing, nothing,
A heartache, a heartache,
And a bad time once in a while,
you try to give them a bath,
And a bad time another time,
you're doing something you want
to do and they don't want it
And that's all they want to know
about it is what they want
But bless their little hearts,
cause they're really made out of gold
I'd sell them on the open marketplace
so I could make a fortune
And I'm talking about kids, kids
Someday they'll lead you to ruins
Children, they cry at you
They yell at you when you're old
They borrow from you when
And they leave you alone to die
They're smaller versions of us, you know
And I'm not so crazy about
Why do I want to be one of them?
Sure, they're soft, they're cuddly
They're friendly when they want to be
Kids, phooey on all of them
My greatest hope in life is that someday
One of them might grow up
and then they could get married
Just so they can leave home, you know?
Children? Ask me about them
They're okay for some people
But some people's children
Children? They're disobedient,
I'm through with children,
Ain't nothing I'm gonna do about it
And you'll see what I mean,
I don't like them very much anymore
You see, you pour your heart out to them
And when you get them in turn,
They give me everything they want
But when you get them in turn,
Kids, they make you dizzy
The only thing they're good for
is half fare on an airline.
This is Smoke and Air 11.