Kenesaw Mountain Landis chords by
Jonathan Coulton

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Key: D major

Verse 1
D D 
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Kenesaw Mountain Landis
G G 
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was a bad mother fucker
D D 
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He was seventeen feet tall,
Em Em 
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he had a hundred and fifty wives
A A 
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D D 
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He didn't do that much except
G G 
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he saved the game of baseball
D D 
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G G 
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He put two and two together and
D D 
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A A 
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he noticed it was four
D D 
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G G 
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Now the treachery  of Shoeless
D D 
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A A 
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Joe can't hurt us anymore
D D 
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And he'll always be remembered
G G 
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A A 
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D D 
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A A 
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D D 
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as Kenesaw Mountain Landis

Verse 2
D D 
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Fellow named Joe Jackson was
G G 
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a fielder for the Black Sox
D D 
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And he always wore his black socks,
Em Em 
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but he never wore no shoes
A A 
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D D 
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He weren't the nicest fellow and
G G 
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he had a couple problems
D D 
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'Cause he drank a lot and he beat
G G 
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D D 
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A A 
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his wife and he always acted rude
D D 
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G G 
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He killed and ate some babies and
D D 
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A A 
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he copped an attitude
D D 
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And the one man that he hated most
G G 
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A A 
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D D 
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A A 
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D D 
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was Kenesaw Mountain Landis
Bm Bm 2
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The mafia

Verse 3
said Shoeless Joe
F# F# 2
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You should really run this show
D D 
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You should be the guy who owns baseball
Bm Bm 2
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And all you really gotta do
F# F# 2
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Is help us make a buck or two
D D 
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A A 
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We'll bet on the other team
D D 
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You'll lose the game but make it seem
G G 
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Like nothing could be further
A A 
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from the truth
D D 
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Shoeless Joe did what they said he dropped

Verse 4
G G 
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a couple fly balls
D D 
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And he walked up to the pitcher and
Em Em 
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A A 
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he poked him in the eye
D D 
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And in the seventh inning with
G G 
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the Black Sox nearly beaten
D D 
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There was someone who was watch
G G 
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D D 
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A A 
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ing from his blimp above the stands
D D 
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G G 
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D D 
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Cradling a rifle in his thick
A A 
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and meaty hands
D D 
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G G 
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And as if you hadn't guessed yet it was Kenesaw
A A 
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D D 
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A A 
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Em Em 
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Mountain Landis
Bm Bm 2
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Kenesaw said drop that glove

Verse 5
F# F# 2
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Or I swear by God above
D D 
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I'll make you regret playing baseball
Bm Bm 2
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And Shoeless Joe looked up and saw
F# F# 2
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The sil ver rifle's gaping maw
D D 
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A A 
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And though no one had noticed yet
D D 
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A A 
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His underwear was getting wet
D D 
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G G 
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He peed himself in front
A A 
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of everyone
D D 
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Verse 6
Shoeless Joe was finished but he
G G 
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couldn't quite admit it
D D 
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So he raised his middle finger
Em Em 
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A A 
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up above the other four
D D 
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And Kenesaw took careful aim
G G 
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and fired a single bullet
D D 
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G G 
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And he shot that dirty finger off
D D 
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A A 
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and he dropped his trusty gun
D D 
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G G 
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And everybody in the stand
D D 
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A A 
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s  knew that he had won
D D 
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G G 
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And today they still refer to him as
A A 
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D D 
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Kenesaw Mountain Landis

Verse 7
D D 
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Shoeless Joe left baseball and because
G G 
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a famous pop star
D D 
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And he asked the musical question
A A 
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D D 
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is she really going out with him
G G 
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He had a couple albums and a comeback
D D 
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in the 80's
G G 
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But he never won a  Grammy and
D D 
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A A 
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he never was the same
D D 
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G G 
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And he never could be satisfied
D D 
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A A 
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with critical acclaim
D D 
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'Cause the critics all confused him
G G 
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A A 
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D D 
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A A 
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with the great Elvis Costello
D D 
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Yes the critics all confused him
G G 
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A A 
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D D 
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with the great Elvis Costello

Outro 1

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ChordsD G Em A Bm...

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Kenesaw Mountain Landis chords by Jonathan Coulton PrintSave