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Kenesaw Mountain Landis easy guitar chords by 
Jonathan Coulton
N/A•
Verse 1
D
Kenesaw Mountain Landis
G
was a bad mother fucker
D
He was seventeen feet tall,
Em
he had a hundred and fifty wives
A
D
He didn't do that much except
G
he saved the game of baseball
D
G
He put two and two together and
D
A
he noticed it was four
D
G
Now the treachery of Shoeless
D
A
Joe can't hurt us anymore
D
And he'll always be remembered
G
A
D
A
D
as Kenesaw Mountain Landis
Verse 2
D
Fellow named Joe Jackson was
G
a fielder for the Black Sox
D
And he always wore his black socks,
Em
but he never wore no shoes
A
D
He weren't the nicest fellow and
G
he had a couple problems
D
'Cause he drank a lot and he beat
G
D
A
his wife and he always acted rude
D
G
He killed and ate some babies and
D
A
he copped an attitude
D
And the one man that he hated most
G
A
D
A
D
was Kenesaw Mountain Landis
Bm
The mafia
Verse 3
said Shoeless Joe
F#
You should really run this show
D
You should be the guy who owns baseball
Bm
And all you really gotta do
F#
Is help us make a buck or two
D
A
We'll bet on the other team
D
You'll lose the game but make it seem
G
Like nothing could be further
A
from the truth
D
Shoeless Joe did what they said he dropped
Verse 4
G
a couple fly balls
D
And he walked up to the pitcher and
Em
A
he poked him in the eye
D
And in the seventh inning with
G
the Black Sox nearly beaten
D
There was someone who was watch
G
D
A
ing from his blimp above the stands
D
G
D
Cradling a rifle in his thick
A
and meaty hands
D
G
And as if you hadn't guessed yet it was Kenesaw
A
D
A
Em
Mountain Landis
Bm
Kenesaw said drop that glove
Verse 5
F#
Or I swear by God above
D
I'll make you regret playing baseball
Bm
And Shoeless Joe looked up and saw
F#
The sil ver rifle's gaping maw
D
A
And though no one had noticed yet
D
A
His underwear was getting wet
D
G
He peed himself in front
A
of everyone
D
Verse 6
Shoeless Joe was finished but he
G
couldn't quite admit it
D
So he raised his middle finger
Em
A
up above the other four
D
And Kenesaw took careful aim
G
and fired a single bullet
D
G
And he shot that dirty finger off
D
A
and he dropped his trusty gun
D
G
And everybody in the stand
D
A
s knew that he had won
D
G
And today they still refer to him as
A
D
Kenesaw Mountain Landis
Verse 7
D
Shoeless Joe left baseball and because
G
a famous pop star
D
And he asked the musical question
A
D
is she really going out with him
G
He had a couple albums and a comeback
D
in the 80's
G
But he never won a Grammy and
D
A
he never was the same
D
G
And he never could be satisfied
D
A
with critical acclaim
D
'Cause the critics all confused him
G
A
D
A
with the great Elvis Costello
D
Yes the critics all confused him
G
A
D
with the great Elvis Costello
Outro 1
D
A
D
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