Kenesaw Mountain Landis chords by Jonathan Coulton
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Verse 1
(D major) Kenesaw Mountain Landis
was a bad (G major) mother fucker
He (D major) was seventeen feet tall,
he had a hundred (E minor) and fifty wives
(A major) He didn't (D major) do that much except
(G major) he saved the game of baseball
He (D major) put two and two togeth (G major) er and
(D major) he noticed it (A major) was four
Now the treach (D major) (G major) ery of Shoeless
Joe (D major) can't hurt us (A major) anymore
And he'll al (D major) ways be remembered
as Kenesaw (G major) (A major) Mountain Land (D major) is (A major) (D major)
Verse 2
Fellow named (D major) Joe Jackson was
a field (G major) er for the Black Sox
And (D major) he always wore his black socks,
but he nev (E minor) er wore no shoes
(A major) He weren't (D major) the nicest fellow and
(G major) he had a couple problems
'Cause he drank (D major) a lot and he beat
(G major) his wife (D major) and he always ac (A major) ted rude
He killed (D major) and ate some ba (G major) bies and
(D major) he copped an atti (A major) tude
And the one (D major) man that he hated most
was Kenesaw (G major) Moun (A major) tain Land (D major) is (A major) (D major)
The (B minor) mafia
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Verse 3
said Shoeless Joe
(F sharp major) You should really run this show
(D major) You should be the guy who owns baseball
And (B minor) all you really gotta do
Is (F sharp major) help us make a buck or two
(D major) We'll bet on the other (A major) team
You'll (D major) lose the game but make it seem
Like nothing could be (G major) further
from the (A major) truth
Shoe (D major) less Joe did what they said he dropped
Verse 4
(G major)
a couple fly balls
And he walked (D major) up to the pitcher and
he poked (E minor) him in the eye (A major)
And in (D major) the seventh inning with
the Black (G major) Sox nearly beaten
There (D major) was someone who was watch
(G major) ing from (D major) his blimp above the (A major) stands
Cradling (D major) a rifle (G major) in (D major) his thick
and meaty (A major) hands
And as if (D major) you hadn't guessed yet it was Kenesaw (G major)
(A major) Mountain Land (D major) is (A major) (E minor)
(B minor) Kenesaw said drop that glove
Verse 5
(F sharp major) Or I swear by God above
(D major) I'll make you regret playing baseball
And (B minor) Shoeless Joe looked up and saw
The (F sharp major) sil ver rifle's gaping maw
And (D major) though no one had noticed (A major) yet
His (D major) underwear was getting (A major) wet
He (D major) peed himself in (G major) front
of everyone (A major)
(D major)
Verse 6
Shoeless Joe was finished but he
(G major) couldn't quite admit it
(D major) So he raised his middle finger
up above (E minor) the other (A major) four
And (D major) Kenesaw took careful aim
and fired (G major) a single bullet
And he shot (D major) that dirty (G major) finger off
and he (D major) dropped his trusty (A major) gun
And (D major) every (G major) body in the stand
(D major) s knew that he had won (A major)
And (D major) today they still refer to (G major) him as
Kenesaw (A major) Mountain Land (D major) is
Verse 7
(D major) Shoeless Joe left baseball and because
(G major) a famous pop star
And he asked (D major) the musical question
is she really go (A major) ing out with (D major) him
He had a couple albums and a comeback (G major)
in the (D major) 80's
But he never won a (G major) Grammy and
(D major) he never was (A major) the same
(D major) And he never could be sat (G major) isfied
(D major) with critical ac (A major) claim
'Cause the crit (D major) ics all confused him
(G major) with the great Elvis (A major) Costel (D major) lo (A major)
Yes (D major) the critics all confused him
with the great (G major) (A major) Elvis Cos (D major) tello
Outro 1
(D major) (A major) (D major)
Kenesaw Mountain Landis
Jonathan Coulton
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