Best Tuning App Ever
MaddProfessor
“I've downloaded many tuning apps before and this one is by far the best. Easy to use, super user-friendly, and they have a bunch of fun different chords and songs to help you learn new music. I highly recommend.”
I can be the hot dog and you can easy guitar chords by 
Ivor Biggun
N/A•
Verse 1
G
C
I'm 37,
F
C
I'm still living with me mum,
G
C
G
I've no pals now, my guinea pig's dead,
F
C
and my dad needs my room
G
to grow mushrooms,
C
G
F
so I suppose that it's time I was wed.
C
G
Now you don't sweat much for a fat lass,
F
and I hear you've a rich mum and dad,
C
And in the dark,
G
with the light right behind you,
F
C
you really don't look quite that bad.
G
And that's why I wrote you
Am
G
this meaningful melody.
Okay lads, three chords in the key of A,
let's put some spunk into it.
I can be the hot dog
and you can be the bun.
I can be the ramrod
and you can be the gun.
C
I can be the cistern
if you will pull my chain.
G
I can be the dino -rod
if you will be the drain
D
G
I'll even be the daddy
C
and you can be the mum
G
I can be the suppository
C
and you can be the bum
G
But I can't understand
Bb
No, he can't understand
C
No, I can't understand
G
why women don't like me
It's one of life's little mysteries
No, I can't understand
Bb
No, he can't understand
C
No, I can't understand
G
why women don't like me
Oh, cruel fate!
I can be the Christmas fairy,
you can be the tinsel
I can be the athlete's foot
and you can be the plimsoll
C
I can be the landlord's thumb
and you can be the drink
G
I can be the plunger
and you can be the sink
D
I will be the dentist
C
if you will open wide
G
I can be the vet's rubber glove
and you can be the cow's backside
But I can't understand
Bb
No, it can't understand
C
Now I can't understand
G
why women don't like
Dear Anna Raeburn,
what am I doing wrong?
Now I can't understand
Bb
No, he can't understand
C
Now I can't understand
G
why women don't like me
I've got the brew cream's browns
You can be the sandwich,
I can be the lemon curd
You can be the WC and I can be the turd
C
I can be the rupture
and you can be the truss
G
You can be the pimple
C
and I can be the pus
D
G
D
You can be the vomitbag
C
and I can be the trim
G
You can be the Y Front
and I can be the...
What's this word?
I can't understand!
Bb
No, he can't understand!
C
No! I can't understand
G
why women don't like
I 've got the old teeth
and a motorbike inside
No! I can't understand!
Bb
No, he can't understand!
C
No! I can't understand
G
why women don't like me!
me, me, me...
I can be the finger,
and you can be the pie.
C
I can be the poker,
G
and you can be the stye.
I can be the writing,
if you will be the wall.
I can do the breaststroke,
if you will do the crawl.
C
You can be the racing car,
G
and I can be James Hunt.
C
I can be the sailor,
G
and you can be the...
What's this word?
Mr Biggin, the word is hunt.
Are you sure?
I can be the stone,
and you can be the kidney.
You can be the choir boy,
C
G
and I can be my rather
C
strange Uncle Sidney.
G
But if your heart should chance
F
C
G
resist my subtlety and charms,
and my suave sophistication
F
C
fails to bring you to my arms,
G
You'd be the wild and lovely girl
F
C
I'd lost before she'd grown
G
C
And you will be a memory,
F
C
and I will be...
G
Probably going down the pub
C
There's a darts match on at the
G
Swan in Fulham Broadway
Or I might go to the pictures
and see Clit Eastwood
Or Danish dentist on the job
Or I might go and stare
at the nurses playing tennis
Or I might go and get some Algerian
Scotch whisky from the off -licence
And get Kermode hugging drunk
Or I might go and stick me gong
Outro 1
through somebody's letterbox
How did you like the song?
You need to log in to leave a rating.
Learn to play I can be the hot dog and you can by Ivor biggun with GuitarTuna
Master I can be the hot dog and you can by Ivor biggun on guitar and explore 10000 tabs created by our verified editors.
Whether you're learning I can be the hot dog and you can by Ivor biggun for the first time or perfecting your skills, GuitarTuna makes it easier to practice across guitar, bass and piano. Join 2 Million musicians already playing songs they love on GuitarTuna. Rated 4/5 on App Store.
Autoscroll20%
Join millions playing with GuitarTuna
- #1 Tuner
in AppStore & Google Play
- +
AppStore & Play rating
- M
Downloads worldwide
- k+
Songs available
Trusted by guitar players worldwide
Well-Designed App
Rose the Black Cat
“I mostly use this for tuning my guitar, which this app makes ridiculously easy. It also has a large selection of songs to play along to and it helps show you which chords to play as well how to make the shapes with your fingers.”
Got me back into playing
Tuliketsune
“I got this app to tune an old guitar, and noticed it has a feature that autoscrolls as I play chords to famous songs. For some reason, this was a lot more motivating for me than any other way of practicing guitar. Now I'm actually practicing and remembering the names of chords 🙂”
Secret weapon
Brad
“Not only is it a tuner (best app tuner I've used personally) but it also has a metronome, games, chords, and a plethora of instruments to choose from and it's SUPER easy to navigate. I love it! Thanks for making an awesome app. From one musician to another, THANKS!!!”
Very reliable tuner
theNewPaul
“This is a great app! Very easy to use and very reliable, if you are just starting out, you can take a big worry off your mind, by getting in tune quickly and easily with this app. Highly recommended!”
This is the best guitar tuner ever.
Caleb Schafli
“It tunes your guitar accurately so you can get the best sound. I like all the other little games as well because they teach you how to play different chords and you can learn to identify the chords by listening to them and it is all offline.”
Great to tune and play
Lynae T
“I love how easy it is to tune and find and play my favorite songs.”