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How to Be Dumb chords by 
Elvis Costello 
N/A•
Verse 1
D
G
I was hell-bent on on destroying
my powers of concentration
D
While you were living like a saint
G
And all the time the very one you
Em
trusted was washing off
Bm
Somebody else's paint
Verse 2
G
Now you've got yourself a
brand new occupation
D
Every fleeting thought is a pearl
G
And beautiful people
stampede to the doorway
Em
Of the funniest fucker in
Bm
F
the world
Verse 3
D
They're here to help you
Bm
Satisfy your desire
C
There's a bright future for
Verse 4
all you professional liars
G
[Chorus]
C
D
Now you know how to be dumb
G
C
Are you ready to take your place in the
G
D
modern museum of mistakes?
G
C
Bm
Don't you know how to be dumb?
G
C
Like a building thrown up overnight in
G
D
one of those reverse earthquakes
Verse 5
G
They emptied out all the asylums,
D
they emptied out all the jails
G
The "new bruise" was
the name of a dance craze
Em
By "Jesus cross and the
Bm
G
cruel nails"
Followed up by "torturing little beaver"
D
With their contraption of barbed wire
G
Em
Between the fear and the fever lies all the
Bm
F
rejection they require
They'll be howling by midnight,
D
they'll be drooling by dawn
Bm
Skulls shrunk down to the
C
size of their brains
Interlude 1
Heads shaven and shorn
G
C
D
G
C
G
D
G
C
Bm
G
C
G
D
Verse 6
E
[Chorus]
Trapped in the house of the
perpetual sucker
Am
Where bitterness always
D
G
E
ends so pitifully
You always had to dress up your envy
Am
in some half-remembered
Philosophy
D
G
Philosophy
Verse 7
G
Now you're masquerading as
pale powdered genius
D
Whose ever bad intention has been purged
G
You could've walked out any time
Em
you wanted but face it you
Bm
Didn't have the courage
G
I guess that makes you a full time
D
hypocrite or some kind of
Twisted dilettante
G
Funny though people don't usually
Em
get so ugly 'til they think
Bm
F
They know what they want
Scratch your own head stupid
D
Bm
Count up to three
C
Roll over on your back
Repeat after me
G
Don't you know
Verse 8
C
D
how to be dumb?
G
C
Are you ready to take your place in the
G
D
modern museum of mistakes?
G
C
Don't you know how to be dumb?
Bm
G
C
G
D
Like a building thrown up overnight in one of those reverse earthquakes
Outro 1
D
G
C
D
G
C
D
G
C
D
G
C
D
G
C
D
G
C
D
G
C
D
G
C
D
G
C
D
G
C
D
G
C
D
G
C
D
G
D
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Chords
D
G
Em
Bm
F
C
E
Am
Capo: 0
Transpose: 0
0
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