How to Be Dumb chords by
Elvis Costello

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Tabs

Key: G major•

Verse 1

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I was hell-bent on on destroying

my powers of concentration

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While you were living like a saint

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And all the time the very one you

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trusted was washing off

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Somebody else's paint

Verse 2

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Now you've got yourself a

brand new occupation

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Every fleeting thought is a pearl

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And beautiful people

stampede to the doorway

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Of the funniest fucker in

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the world

Verse 3

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They're here to help you

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Satisfy your desire

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There's a bright future for

Verse 4

all you professional liars

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[Chorus]

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Now you know how to be dumb

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Are you ready to take your place in the

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modern museum of mistakes?

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Don't you know how to be dumb?

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Like a building thrown up overnight in

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one of those reverse earthquakes

Verse 5

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They emptied out all the asylums,

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they emptied out all the jails

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The "new bruise" was

the name of a dance craze

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By "Jesus cross and the

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cruel nails"

Followed up by "torturing little beaver"

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With their contraption of barbed wire

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Between the fear and the fever lies all the

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rejection they require

They'll be howling by midnight,

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they'll be drooling by dawn

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Skulls shrunk down to the

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size of their brains

Interlude 1

Heads shaven and shorn

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Verse 6

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[Chorus]

Trapped in the house of the

perpetual sucker

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Where bitterness always

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ends so pitifully

You always had to dress up your envy

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in some half-remembered

Philosophy

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Philosophy

Verse 7

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Now you're masquerading as

pale powdered genius

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Whose ever bad intention has been purged

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You could've walked out any time

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you wanted but face it you

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Didn't have the courage

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I guess that makes you a full time

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hypocrite or some kind of

Twisted dilettante

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Funny though people don't usually

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get so ugly 'til they think

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They know what they want

Scratch your own head stupid

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Count up to three

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Roll over on your back

Repeat after me

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Don't you know

Verse 8

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how to be dumb?

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Are you ready to take your place in the

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modern museum of mistakes?

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Don't you know how to be dumb?

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Like a building thrown up overnight in one of those reverse earthquakes

Outro 1

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TunerE A D G B E

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ChordsD G Em Bm F...

D
G
Em
Bm
F
C
E
Am
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Chords

D
G
Em
Bm
F
C
E
Am
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