Diet gum chords by John Grant

SimplifiedEm · D · C · G · A …

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Intro 1

Verse 1
D 
Em 
D 
Em 
I ma (D major) nipu (E minor) late, that is  (D major) what I  (E minor) do
D 
Em 
I ma (D major) nipu (E minor) late,
D 
Em 
that's what I'm  (D major) doing  (E minor) to   you
C 
Em 
That smirk  (C major) on your face  (E minor) 
C 
was de (C major) signed by me
Em 
C 
 (E minor) I fucking  (C major) curated it,
Em 
C 
Em 
 (E minor) like  (C major) magic (E minor) ally
D 
Em 
D 
Em 
I ma (D major) nipu (E minor) late, that is  (D major) what I do  (E minor) 
D 
Em 
I ma (D major) nipu (E minor) late,
D 
Em 
that's what I'm  (D major) doing  (E minor) to   you

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Verse 2
C 
Em 
 (C major) You don't like what  (E minor) I've become?
C 
Em 
 (C major) What  (E minor) did you expect to happen?
C 
Em 
 (C major) You come around  (E minor) with
C 
Em 
your  (C major) lips flap (E minor) ping
D 
Em 
All  (D major) hopped up on  (E minor) diet
D 
Em 
gum  (D major)  (E minor) 
D 
Em 
And everything  (D major) you say  (E minor) is
D 
supposed to  (D major) make me come
Em 
 (E minor) Like,

Verse 3
C 
Em 
 (C major) I should feel grate (E minor) ful
C 
Em 
you are  (C major) in my  (E minor) life
C 
Em 
But I'd rather  (C major) dig out my  (E minor) own spleen
C 
Em 
with  (C major) a  butter knife  (E minor) 
D 
Em 
Hey,  (D major) I've got some  (E minor) Gainsburgers you
D 
Em 
 (D major) can have if you want  (E minor) 'em
D 
 (D major) You might as well,
Em 
D 
Em 
 (E minor) you've clearly  (D major) hit rock bottom  (E minor) 

Verse 4
C 
You prob (C major) ably hang out at Times
Em 
C 
Em 
 (E minor) Square with  (C major) in your pock (E minor) et
C 
Em 
And  (C major) around your neck  (E minor) is your
C 
Em 
 (C major) grandmother's lock (E minor) et
D 
Em 
With  (D major) a pic (E minor) ture inside of what
D 
you might  (D major) have been
Em 
Sound  (E minor) familiar?

Verse 5

Do you even know

where that cheese is made?

It's from Iowa,

you dullard. Ever heard of it?

Verse 6

I knew this guy from Ames,

Ames, Iowa, Patrick

He was so not to be in to,

in the most extreme way

Verse 7
D 
By the way, your  (D major) bedside manner is
Em 
D 
Em 
 (E minor) reminiscent of a  (D major) chuckle of  (E minor) hyenas
D 
Em 
Except, yes,  (D major) it is a chuckle  (E minor) of hyenas,
C 
Dr.  (C major) Turdface
Em 
It's a  (E minor) col  lective noun
C 
Em 
C 
Do  (C major) you even know  (E minor) what a collective noun is,  (C major) 
Em 
 (E minor) Stupidzilla?

Verse 8
C 
Em 
Hmm,  (C major) let's  (E minor) see,
D 
Em 
I think  (D major) your group would  (E minor) be called a misery
D 
 (D major) Or , no,
Em 
D 
Em 
 (E minor) a  (D major) patheticness of  (E minor) fuckwits
D 
Em 
 (D major) Oh, oh right, par (E minor) don  me,
C 
Em 
C 
Em 
your  (C major) doofusness, a  (E minor) patheticness of  (C major)  (E minor) baristas

Verse 9
D 
Em 
D 
Em 
I ma (D major) nipu (E minor) late, that is  (D major) what I do  (E minor) 
D 
Em 
I ma (D major) nipu (E minor) late,
D 
Em 
that's what I'm  (D major) doing to you  (E minor) 
C 
Em 
That smirk  (C major) on your face  (E minor) 
C 
was de (C major) signed by me
Em 
C 
Em 
 (E minor) I fucking  (C major) curated it,  (E minor) 
C 
Em 
like  (C major) magically  (E minor) 
D 
Em 
D 
Em 
I ma (D major) nipu (E minor) late, that is  (D major) what I do  (E minor) 
D 
Em 
I ma (D major) nipu (E minor) late,
D 
Em 
G 
that's what I'm  (D major) doing  (E minor) to   you  (G major) 

Verse 10
A 
You know, being with you  (A major) was like a cross
B 
between Cannibal  (B major) Apocalypse and Lassie 9
Except nowhere near as both
G 
of those  (G major) movies were
A 
It's still a personal  (A major) conundrum of mine
G# 
How anyone  (G sharp major) can  have such
F# 
B 
few of self aware (F sharp major) ness  (B major) 

Verse 11
D 
Em 
D 
Em 
I ma (D major) nipu (E minor) late, that is  (D major) what I do  (E minor) 
D 
Em 
I ma (D major) nipu (E minor) late,
D 
that's why you  (D major) just took a poo
Em 
C 
In  (E minor) those  (C major) slacks you're wearing,
Em 
C 
Em 
 (E minor) is that a  (C major) leisure  (E minor) suit?
C 
Did you make  (C major) that yourself?
Em 
C 
Em 
 (E minor) That's a rhet (C major) orical ques (E minor) tion

Verse 12
D 
Em 
D 
Em 
I ma (D major) nipu (E minor) late, that is  (D major) what I do  (E minor) 
D 
Em 
I ma (D major) nipu (E minor) late,
D 
Em 
it's rather  (D major) easy  (E minor) with you
C 
Em 
You're sort of  (C major) begging for it  (E minor) 
C 
Em 
with your  (C major) stupid  (E minor) face
C 
Em 
C 
You're like  (C major) Daffy Duck  (E minor) about to be  (C major) 
Em 
D 
Em 
erased  (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor) 

Verse 13
D 
Em 
Did you really  (D major) think you could seduce  (E minor) me
D 
Em 
D 
Em 
in a leisure  (D major) suit?  (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor) 
C 
Em 
Well, I,  (C major)  (E minor) yeah, okay,
C 
Em 
C 
Em 
 (C major) fair enough but  (E minor) that was like  (C major) three weeks ago  (E minor) 
C 
I'd like to see you  (C major) try that now
Em 
Uh,  (E minor) 

Verse 14
D 
Em 
 (D major)  (E minor) I'm  not staring at your crotch,
D 
Em 
you  (D major) maynard, I'm not  (E minor) 
D 
Em 
 (D major) Well,  (E minor) it's hard not to,
D 
Em 
C 
Em 
C 
Em 
 (D major) you practically  (E minor) dislocated your  (C major) own hips thrusting  (E minor) it   at me  (C major)  (E minor) 
You're like that neon sign that
C 
Em 
C 
 (C major) keeps Kramer up all  (E minor) night  (C major) 
Em 
D 
Em 
 (E minor) Yeah,  (D major) I guess  (E minor) you did keep me
D 
Em 
up all night  (D major) a few times  (E minor) 

Verse 15
D 
Em 
D 
 (D major) Really?  (E minor)  (D major) 463? How
Em 
 (E minor) could you know that?
C 
Em 
C 
We only went  (C major) out for a year  (E minor)  (C major) 
Em 
C 
 (E minor) What?  (C major) I  don't know,
Em 
C 
I was  (E minor) just gonna order out, I'm  (C major) gonna
Em 
D 
B 
Em 
 (E minor) Well,  (D major) sure,  (B major) I  (E minor) guess so

Verse 16
D 
Em 
Hey,  (D major) um, I'm sorry  (E minor) I snapped at you
D 
Em 
a  (D major) few minutes  (E minor) ago
D 
Em 
D 
Em 
D 
Em 
D 
It's nothing person (D major) al, I hope you know  (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor)  (D major) 
Em 
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 (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor)  (D major) 
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C 
 (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor)  (C major) 
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C 
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B 
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D 
B 
 (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor)  (D major)  (B major)  (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor)  (D major)  (B major) 
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D 
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 (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor)  (C major) 
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C 
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D 
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 (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor) 

Interlude 1
that
D 
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C 
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C 
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 (D major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor) 
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B 
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 (C major)  (E minor)  (D major)  (B major)  (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor) 
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 (D major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor) 
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 (C major)  (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor) 
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 (D major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor) 
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 (C major)  (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor)  (D major)  (E minor) 
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 (D major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor) 
C 
Em 
C 
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C 
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 (C major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor)  (C major)  (E minor) 

Verse 17
Em 
I manipulate,  (E minor) that is what I do
I manipulate,
that's what I'm doing to you
C 
Em 
That smirk  (C major) on your face  (E minor) 
C 
Em 
was de (C major) signed  (E minor) by   me
C 
Em 
C 
Em 
I fucking  (C major) curated it,  (E minor) like  (C major) magic (E minor) ally
D 
Em 
I manipulate, that is  (D major) what I  (E minor) do
I manipulate,