Cousin Earl chords by The Dead Milkmen
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Verse 1
(C major) (D major) (F major) Now (G major) you want to talk
(C major) about bladder problem (G major) s,
(F major) then (G major) the man you want to talk to
would (C major) probably be my cousin Earl. (F major)
I guess you all know (G major) Earl.
He lives out on Route 13,
out (G major) on that maggot farm. (C minor)
Earl don't (G major) like it (B flat major) when
you get his maggot farm
due for the (F major) worm farm. (G major)
A worm (G major) farm (A flat major) is for (C major) worms,
an (A flat major) d a (F minor) maggot (F sharp major) farm is for mag (G major) gots. (B major)
(A flat major) And Earl's got the biggest
mag (B flat minor) gots (F sharp major) in the (B flat minor) state. (F sharp major)
(A flat major) Three feet long. (F major) (C major)
Of course now Earl believes this might (G major) be
due to the fact at (C major) St. Smithens
Medical (D major) Facil (F major) ity
has (G major) been dumping their waste
(C major) on his property. (D major) (F major)
(G major) The interesting thing (B flat major) about
(C major) three -foot maggots
is that, (D major) well,
(G major) one day the china (C major) disappeared, (G major)
and then (A major) the next day
the television (D major) disap (D flat major) peared,
and then (F major) a few days after (G major) that,
his 57 (C major) Chevy disappeared. (C major)
(D major) But there (F major) they are, (D major)
(G major) the world's biggest (C major) maggot
s. (G major) (F major)
(G major) Anyway, (C major) one day Earl and I are
(F major) standing in the (G major) kitchen,
(B flat major) gi (A flat major) ant maggot (C major) s crawling
across the floor,
An (G major) d Earl turns (C major) to me and he says,
(D major) (F major) Did (G major) you ever go to make a pork sausage
(C major) An (G major) d find (D major) it's (F major) got hairs (F sharp major) all (A flat major) over it?
And he gives (F sharp major) me a look
(A flat major) That still chills me to (F major) this (F sharp major) day (G major) (A flat major) (A flat minor) (A flat major) (F major)
(A flat major) (C major)
(C major) (F minor) (G flatdim)
(C major)
Now Earl's got (G major) a son
An (C major) d they call him Earl Jr. (F major)
(G major) Which I think (G major) is pretty (C major) clever
Ever since he has Earl's son, (G major)
he's not really (C major) a normal boy. (F major) (C major)
(G major) Ever since that tractor (F major) ac cident.
Anyway, he ran up 5 ,000
worth of 976 (B flat minor) (F major) phone bills.
He called weird, unnatural numbers,
like 976 (G major) (B flat major) pig with two (F minor) Gs
(F major) and (C major) 976 (C major) (F major) sheep,
(G major) which has five (C major) letters in it.
I know, he's (F major) a sick (G major) boy. (C major)
Earl suggested (D major) it.
(F major) Well, (G major) maybe I'll talk to him. (G major)
(A flat major) So I went (D flat major) into his bedroom
(G flat major) and I sat him (G major) down.
But (A flat major) be fore I (G major) could say (A flat major) a word, (A minor)
(A flat major) Earl (D flat major) Jr. (G major) looked (D flat major) at me
(G flat major) and he (G major) said, (F major) Jeff,
(G major) we're gonna make a (G major) pork (C major) sausage
and (C major) find it's got hair (D major) s (F major) all (D major) over (G major) it.
(B flat major) An (G major) d he gave me a look
(C major) that (G major) chills me to this (G major) day.
(G major) (C major)
(E flat major) (C major)
Now (D major) (F major) Earl's got a daughter,
an (C major) d they call her Effie (D major) Sue. (C major)
(D major) An (G major) d Effie Sue,
(C major) she don't look so much like (D minor) a little (D major) girl
(G major) as she (C major) looks like a big
(G major) pile (F major) of (G major) fungus.
Earl blames (C major) this, (D major) on the fact that (G flat major) St.
Spinning's medical (G major) fa cil (A flat major) ity
has (F minor) (G flat major) been dump (A flat major) ing on his
(G major) maggot (A flat major) farm. (F minor) (B flat major) (G major)
And I never had (C major) much con
(F major) tact with Ef (G flat major) fie (G major) (G flat major) Sue.
Excuse (A flat major) me, I don't even
think how much of her
to get (F major) her name (F minor) right. (G flat major)
I never (A flat major) had much contact with her. (D flat major)
She just (F major) normally just sits (G major) on the couch
(C major) like a little ball of (G major) fungus
(F major) and just boils (G major) away. (C major)
But (G major) one day she (F sharp major) looked (G major) at me,
(A flat major) and that little ball (D flat major) of fungus
(A flat major) opened (F major) its mouth, (G major)
or what I guess was (C major) its mouth,
(G major) I'd (A flat major) hate to think what
else it (D flat major) could be,
(Ddim) An (D flat major) d out (A flat major) of that orifice floated (G flat major) the (G major) words (A flat major) Jim,
we're gonna make a pork (D flat major) saus (G major) age
And (D major) Brian's got hair (G major) all over it
And then (C major) that little pile
(G major) (G minor) of fungus
gave (B flat major) me a look
That (C major) chills me (A flat major) to (F major) this day (G major) (A flat major) (C major)
(A flat major) (F minor) (F sharp major) (F minor) (F major)
(C major) (D major)
(F major) Now Earl's (G major) got a wife (C major)
And (D major) we call her wife (G major)
We don't know (C major) her name
because she's (D major) never really (F major)
said that much. (G major) (G minor) (G major)
For the longest (C major) time, (D major)
(G major) we thought she could
(G major) only say two words,
(C major) (D flat major) which were dog an (G major) d pussy. (G flat major) (G major)
(A flat major) We (F minor) (G flat major) thought that
(G major) meant dog and cat,
but then we found (G major) out
what she (F major) was really (G major) trying to
say was dog pussy,
one big (F major) hyphenated word, (G major)
(G minor) which (G major) doesn't come up
much in conversation, (F major)
espe (G major) cially amongst Baptists.
(C major) We never heard (F major) her say
(D major) anything other (G major) than that. (C major)
You know, she works down
at (F major) (G major) St. Smith's (B flat major) (G major) Medical (C major) Fa cility
and pork saus (G major) age (F minor) distil (D flat major) lery. (G major)
Got (C major) a good (D flat major) paying job (A flat major) there.
(F sharp major) Al (G major) though she (A flat major) only does stay loose,
well, that one word.
(D flat major) And we have heard her say
another thing (F sharp major) once,
but that was a long time ago.
We were sitting around the (C major) house (D flat major) ,
and (F major) she looked at me
(G major) and she said,
(A flat major) you ever go to make (D flat major) a pork sausage
an (F sharp major) d find (G major) it's got (A flat major) hairs growing all over it?
And (A flat major) she gave me a look
(G major) that (A flat major) chill (A flat major) s me (C major) to (D flat major) (D major) this day. (D major) (G major) (C major)
(G major) (C major) (F major) (B flat minor)
(C major) (F major) (C major)
Now one day Earl (F major) took his (G major) whole family
fishing down at Miller's (C major) Creek, (G major)
(F major) he took his wife
(G major) who could only say dog pussy, (C major)
he took (G major) his son (D major) Earl Jr. (G major)
who took the day off
from (C major) calling 976 (F major) Barnyard (G major) Numbers,
and he took that little,
(F sharp major) that little call fungus order,
(D flat major) Epi -Sue, that belonged with him.
(A flat major) They all got in a little boat
and they all started fishing.
Now (F sharp major) St. Smithens Med (G major) ical Facility
(D flat major) and (D flat major) Pork Saus (F sharp minor) age Distillery
(A flat major) has been known to dump their
stuff (D major) into Miller (D flat major) s Creek.
(F sharp major) All sorts of heinous stuff.
Big (D flat major) barrels floating in the creek
with (A flat major) little things on them that say
St. Smithens Medical Facility
and Pork Sausage (A flat major) Distillery.
(D flat major) Anyway, Earl was (A flat major) fishing
and he caught a walleye bass,
which had 27 eyes on it.
It was a 27 -eyed walleye bass. (A flat major)
Earl looked at it
and thought,
wouldn't this be good to eat?
So he took out his knife
and cut it open.
But that fish looked up at it
and it said, please mister,
please don't eat me.
And Earl said, but I'm hungry.
I'm hungry.
I work on a maggot farm.
My wife can only say dog pussy.
My daughter's a pile of fungus.
My son spent all of his college money
calling 976 numbers.
I have to eat you.
And that fish said,
please don't eat me,
mister, please.
And he said, I have to, I have to.
So Chris said, all right, then,
if you're going to cut me open,
let me ask you one question.
Did you ever go to eat a pork sausage
and find it's got hair growing (C major) all over it?
And then all 27 eyes stared back at Earl.
And they stared back at his wife,
who could only say dog pussy.
And they stared back at his weird
976 animal -calling son.
And they stared back
at that little pile of pus
that passes for Earl's daughter.
And they gave him a look.
All 27 I'll give them a look,
(G major) a look that they will not forget
until this very day! (C major)
(Dsus4)
You
Cousin Earl
The Dead Milkmen
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