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MaddProfessor
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Shag Carpet chords by 
Why?
N/A•
Intro 1
G
C
F
G
F
C
G
Sick on the
Verse 1
brink
Bb
of a new lurk for kicks
Bbm
F
A true new low for the old pone to fix
C
Mood hyped, teen night,
G
over at the roller rink
F
C
Rehearsing slow lewd winks, nude,
at the men's room sink, ya'll
G
Dm
F
Evil, pink, small, lesser, surly, and lurid
Gm
Open girlies for leisure,
Bb
F
never not where the youth is
C
Son, the pu trid things I've done for
G
purely my pleasure?
C
Surely at 30- plus it must seem
Dm
G
untoward
Dm
F
Mass nasty sex in the dorms
Gm
Don't ask me when I was born
Bb
F
Less known is best come morn'
C
Yes, you'd never guess,
B
but in this form I'm a mess
G
C
And with this heavy chest I can't
Dm
Eb
C
F
C
rest
Bb
Ab
Eb
F
G
So why put the porn in a poem
Dm
to confess and atone
F
Gm
I ad dress the past
Bb
Dm
and ask why I'm alone
F
C
In a torn tone I preach peace
F
C
B
and poor from the pulpit
G
C
But at home,
Dm
Jack Kennedy sheaths and shag carpet
G
Purchased parkas from Marshalls
Dm
F
at ridiculous markups
Gm
Bb
Out at farmer's markets and high thread
F
count garments
C
And on FourSquare this morning,
F
C
B
C
like an old yoga yuppie
I checked in at Krogers in a gold pullover toga
Eb
C
F
C
Bb
like "fuck it"
Ab
Eb
F
G
I use the first person cause it sound
Dm
F
s more urgent
Gm
But the truth is I probably knew
Bb
F
myself less than you did
C
I'm so lonesome that I'd let
you take me out
B
C
If you looked like my ex- girlfriend
Dm
or ZooeyDeschanel
C
G
But heed this honey, even if I beg
Dm
F
for relations
Gm
Bb
You should try to only keep me
Dm
F
as a distant acquaintance
C
Yeah, but I'm too persistent for
that to work
G
And what's worse is when
C
you finally fall asleep
I'm gonna go through
Dm
your purse
Outro 1
Eb
C
F
C
Bb
Ab
Eb
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