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I Sure Hope I Don't Have To Beat Your Ass This Christmas chords by 
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
N/A•
Verse 1
D
Am
I sure hope I don't have to beat
F
G
your ass this Christmas
Gm
G
A
I hope I don't have to lay the hammer down,
you know I will
D
F#
I wish peace around the world
G
for every boy and girl
A
But you, I'll leave faith down
D
in Chinatown, me so sorry
Verse 2
D
Bm
I sure hope you ain't gonna beat
G
my ass this Christmas
You know, I might
Gm
I think I've been a pretty
A
good boy this year
Let's not get cocky
D
F#
I made you something nice
G
I specifically requested Old Spice
Am
G
Em
A
And if it's your homemade aftershave, I will
D
whoop your year
Verse 3
A
D
Christmas is about forgiveness
No, it is about toys
A
D
And your constant excuses make me so freakin' pissed,
you know they do
A
D
There's a reason for the season
C#m
Here's a
Verse 4
G
gift that ain't on your list
A taste from the mighty yellow fist
A
Verse 5
D
You better not give me
Bm
G
macaroni art this Christmas
So help me God,
Gm
A
you'll be pulling back a stomp
D
F#
See this mistletoe on my belt?
G
You will smell what I just dealt
F#m
Em
As I force your lips to
A
D
press my fat wide rump
Verse 6
D
F#m
I really hope that you don't beat
G
my ass this Christmas
Gm
Well I really hope that you spent
A
a decent amount... on me
D
F#
Because if I get something lame
Bm
I'll roast your chestnuts
Am
on an open flame
G
But just remember,
A
D
it's the thought that counts
Verse 7
A
D
Christmas is about forgiveness
A
Forgiveness does not turn chicks
D
on like Old Spice shower gel
This is true, but there's a
A
D
F#
reason for the season
G
Oh, I'll ring your jingle bells
I'll swat your heinie to the
A
depths of the deepest Hell
Verse 8
G
And the devastation'll be amazin'
D
When I get both hands a- blazin'
G
I'll un leash the shock and awe
D
When I make your buttocks crawl
G
Do you hear what I hear?
D
My hand's about to crash-
land on the rear
G
You'll be torn asunder when
D
I call down the thunder
Verse 9
G
Here's a gift that ain't on your list
It's a taste from the mighty yellow...
A
what is this?
Verse 10
A
It's a present, from me to you.
It's a flat- screen TV!
Merry Christmas, Shake.
Not as thin as I would've preferred.
No wall- mount.
That's disappointing.
Well, those- those was extra.
I don't know how I'm gonna hang
it.
I guess I'll just prop it up against the wall?
Is that what you were thinking?
A
Look, I know I disappoint you sometimes.
But I love you Master Shake.
Verse 11
A
'Cause Christmas is about
D
forgiveness
A
I really would have preferred the
D
plasma to the LCD
Well, there's a burning
problem with the plasmas
A
D
But there's a reason for the season
G
Well you know, it's 720p, which
is not technically true HD
Let's hope you got me the extended
A
warranty
Verse 12
What'd you uhh... what'd you get me
for Christmas this year?
Sorry I can't hear
you, I'm watching my new TV!
I said what you'd get me, man?
I'm looking under this tree
and I ain't... well...
Did you get me this tree
skirt?
'Cause I don't wear skirts unless...
OK, once again,
I'm having trouble here.
Let's... let's talk later when I can...
Really focus on something
other than TV.
It's OK, I understand. I just want you to have
a merry Christmas...
Please don't talk while
my program is on!
Now I have no idea where the perp was on
the night of the 27th.
Good night, Shake.
The very night that his girlfriend disappeared!
How did you like the song?
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