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The Return Of Albert (Albert Comes Back) chords by 
Stanley Holloway
N/A•
Verse 1
G
D
G
You've eard ow young
D
Albert Ramsbottom
G
D
At the zoo up at Blackpool one year
G
With a stick with an orse's
ead andle
D
Gave a lion a poke in the ear?
G
D
The name of the lion was Wallace,
The poke in the ear made im wild
B
E
And before you could say ""Bob's
D
yer uncle""
E'd upped and e'd
swallowed the child.
G
D
E were sorry the moment e done it
With children e'd always been chums,
G
D
And besides, e'd no teeth in his muzzle,
And e couldn't chew Albert
on't gums.
E could feel the lad movin' inside im
G
D
As e lay on is bed of dried ferns
And it might ave been
little lad's birthday-
E wished im such appy returns.
G
But Albert kept kickin'
D
and fightin'-
G
D
And Wallace got up, feelin' bad.
G
Decided 'twere time that e started
D
G
To stage a comeback for the lad.
D
E
D
Then puttin' ead down in one corner,
Em
B
On is front paws e started to walk
C
G
And e coughed, and e sneezed,
D
B
and e gargled
D
B
Till Albert shot out - like a cork!
E
D
Am
Now Wallace felt better directly
D
B
And is figure once more be
C
Em
came lean.
D
But the only difference with Albert
Bm
B
Was, is face and is ands were
D
quite clean.
Meanwhile Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom
Ad gone back to their tea,
feelin' blue.
G
D
Ma said, ""I feel down in the mouth,
like.""
B
Pa said, ""Aye,
D
G
I bet Albert does, too.""
Em
A
Said Mother, ""It just goes
D
to show yer
B
That the future is never revealed
D
If I'd thowt we was goin' to lose im,
I'd ave not ad is boots soled and
eeled.""
""Let's look on the bright
side,"" said Father,
C
""Wot can't be elped
D
must be endured
C
D
Each cloud as a silvery lining,
C
And we did ave young Al
D
bert insured.""
G
A knock on the door came
D
that moment
C
As Father these kind
B
D
words did speak.
G
Twas the man from Prudential
D
G
- e'd come for
D
G
Their tuppence per person per week.
D
B
When Father saw oo ad been knockin',
D
B
D
E laughed, and e kept laughin so -
G
The man said ""Ere, wot's there to
B
laugh at?""
Pa said ""You'll laugh and
all when you know!""
E
D
Am
""Excuse im for laughing,"" said Mother,
D
""But really,
B
Em
D
things appen so strange -
G
Our Albert's been et by a lion
D
You've got to pay us
for a change!""
Said the young man from the
Prudential:
""Now, come, come,
let's understand this-
You don't mean to say
that you've lost im?""
Pa said ""Oh,
no, we know where e is!""
G
D
When the young man ad eard all the details,
C
D
A purse from is pocket he drew
C
And e paid them with interest
D
and bonus
G
The sum of nine pounds, four and two.
D
Em
Pa ad scarce got is
D
B
and on the money
D
A
B
When a face at the window they see-
D
And Mother cried ""Eee,
look, it's Albert!""
C
D
And Father said ""Aye,
it would be.""
Albert came in all excited,
And started is story to give
And Pa said ""I'll never trust lions
Again, not as long as I live.""
G
The young man from the
D
Prudential
To pick up the money began
G
D
But Father said ""ere, wait a moment,
C
D
Don't be in a urry, young man.""
G
D
Then giving young Albert a shilling,
G
D
E said ""Ere, pop off back to the zoo
Em
Get your stick with the
G
orse's ead andle-
D
G
Go and see wot the tigers can do!""
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