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Tit Bits chords by
Max Miller
Max Miller
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Key: D major•
Verse 1
D
D

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G
G

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Well, Max, Max,
do you know something?
Last night I had a nightmare.
D
D

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G
G

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D
D

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G
G

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I know. I saw you with her.
That's nice. That's nice.
Love, look at that.
Look at that.
A round of applause.
That'll be the best joke
of the evening.
Here's another one.
Here, listen.
A
A

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I once had a date with a fat girl.
D
D

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She weighed over twenty stone two.
G
G

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Because I was late,
C
C

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she said, you're all behind.
D
D

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I said, blimey, well, what about you?
Oh!
G
G

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D
D

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G
G

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Oh, we're getting it for
D
D

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G
G

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D
D

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a certainty here.
Listen, Lonnie,
Abdim
Abdim
6

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I've got a shock for you.
D
D

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I passed your house last night
G
G

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and I saw you kissing your wife.
D
D

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I've got a shock for you. Yeah?
I didn't go home last night.
A
A

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D
D

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Oh.
G
G

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Go on then, sing us something.
D
D

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G
G

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A
A

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With Winnie I went in the woodlands.
D
D

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She was an innocent dear.
G
G

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C
C

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I sent you, you know why I brought you.
Am
Am

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D
D

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G
G

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She said no, but I've got an idea
D
D

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G
G

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D
D

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Abdim
Abdim
6

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D
D

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Hey Max, do you believe
there's such a thing
such a thing as a good girl gone wrong?
No, I think it's just a bad girl found out
G
G

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D
D

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G
G

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A
A

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The lady was tattooed all over
D
D

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G
G

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she'd a battleship close to her hip
A
A

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A sailor then said to his mate,
D
D

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Let us wait and see if she
scuttles the ship.
Abdim
Abdim
6

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That's a nice one.
That's nice.
G
G

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D
D

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I like that. I like that.
That is nice.
It surely is yours.
I do. I like that.
Here, what would you do
if you had a squeak in
the back of your car?
What?
What would you do
if you had a squeak in the back
of your car?
I'd throw her out. Oh!
He knows all the answers,
doesn't he?
G
G

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Here, listen to this.
A
A

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A boy in school one day was crying.
D
D

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G
G

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The teacher was ever so kind
A
A

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D
D

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G
G

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When he told her that he'd
C
C

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lost his rubber
D
D

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She said, use little Willy's behind
Hey! You're at it again,
you're at it again
I can't help it, it comes to me,
it's natural
It's natural, I can't help it
You'll get yourself a bad name
I know
Whoa
Here, listen to this here, Max
I've got a date,
I've got a date with a chefineer
A chevronniere?
Abdim
Abdim
6

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D
D

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Abdim
Abdim
6

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That's a tall thing with drawers.
D
D

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G
G

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I know. I've still got a date. Ah!
D
D

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G
G

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D
D

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G
G

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Here. Chorus. Good.
A
A

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My wife makes a good Sunday's dinner
D
D

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She doesn't give me pork and beans
G
G

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C
C

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A cut off the joint and some cabbage
D
D

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She knows that I'm fond of me greens
G
G

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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
That's funny.
A
A

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We stood with two girls in the doorway,
D
D

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G
G

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the moon up above shining bright.
D
D

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G
G

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C
C

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We said to those girls, do say something,
D
D

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they said it and then said goodnight.
G
G

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Am
Am

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That is the finish of another spot of fun,
D
D

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hope you've enjoyed it
G
G

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each and every one.
Now that you've heard us
C
C

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Am
Am

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don't think we're both insane,
D
D

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so cheerio until we meet
A
A

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D
D

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G
G

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C
C

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D
D

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again.
G
G

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D
D

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TunerE A D G B E

Open Tuner
ChordsD G A C Abdim...

  • D

  • G

  • A

  • C

  • Abdim

    6

  • Am

Capo: No capo

Transpose: 0

0

Open Tuner
Chords

  • D

  • G

  • A

  • C

  • Abdim

    6

  • Am

Capo: No capo

Transpose: 0

0

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