The Want Ad

The Want Ad easy guitar chords by Pandora's Box

N/A
Guitar
Tuning

E A D G B E

Capo

Fret 1

Capo

Transpose

0

Capo
  • Gm

    3
  • G

  • F

  • C

  • Em

  • Gm

    3
  • G

  • F

  • C

  • Em

  • Verse 1
    Gm

    This is addressed to all the people who answered
    G

    or may be thinking of answering
    Gm
    G

    The personal ad I placed in volume 2, number 15 of
    Gm

    this newspaper two weeks ago Friday
    G
    Gm
    F

    First: my apologies to the huge bartender with the voice and the light- hearted, dark- skinned advertising man.
    Verse 2
    G


    If either of you had called me back,
    C
    G
    C

    I might not be writing this retraction of my ad
    F
    G

    Even though I will soon be too busy to date much,
    Em

    but why didn't you call back?
    Gm
    G

    But to the others... which include the two terrifying
    Verse 3

    sisters


    The under 18's and the over 60's

    The numerous ones who dialed my number

    and hung up as soon as I said "hello"

    The 35 or 40 of you who

    made dates with me and never showed up.
    F

    Including the one who complained his body was
    G
    F

    so powerful he couldn't control it anymore
    C

    The desperate wife- seekers,
    F

    the already married

    The one who was so one- sided
    G

    that he could think of nothing but sex
    F

    And then have the gall to ask me if his nation
    C
    F
    G

    ality was the reason I wouldn't sleep with him
    F
    C
    Em

    The many who couldn't get it up when I was agreeable and the many
    G

    who could and did when I was not

    The pleasant young foreigner who turned out to be

    the private property of his gigantic girlfriend

    The ones who were so grot
    F

    esque in their appearance
    G

    That I couldn't possibly get past their faces to even consider

    a relationship with them, especially sexual

    The sharks, and the geeks,

    and the sadists, the latter category which I had specifically stated I didn't want

    And the ones who wanted endless dirty talk,
    Em

    the ones who wanted to be punished
    G

    The ones who could only boast about the size
    F

    of their bank- rolls and or their equipment

    G
    C

    And this definitely in cludes the teacher
    G
    F
    G

    who said: "All the kids want my stuff"
    F
    G

    The businessman who had an adjective for every letter of his last
    F

    name: "R is for rich"

    The ones, and there were many,
    G

    who said: "my name is so and so, and so how far do you go"

    The 300 pound lady
    F

    judge who screamed abuse at me

    The transvestite who wanted me to support

    him
    G

    The numerous young studs who had nothing to offer besides the
    F
    G

    negative results of their goddamn blood tests
    F

    The diminutive actor and the other

    short ones

    The astronomer who cried like a baby and said he'd been betrayed
    G

    by every star he ever knew
    F

    The fanatic priest who wanted me to confess to
    G
    F

    things I'd never even dreamed of
    G

    The worn out soldiers, the burned out

    poets, the pumped up jocks and the used up kids
    F

    The racists, including the one at whose place I left

    my white sweater

    And I'd rather cut off my right thumb than go

    back for it
    Gm
    F

    The drunks, junkies, crack and coke- heads,
    G

    the multitude of liars

    And especially the nice

    ones who never called back!
    Verse 4

    To all of you I say: Just forget

    my phone number
    Gm

    I don't need all the hassles
    Verse 5
    Gm

    I'll be starting school next month and I just

    don't want to be bothered
    G

    Don't hold your breath, any of you

    Sincerely,
    F

    The underweight platinum blonde
    G

    Have a nice day

    How did you like the song?

    You need to log in to leave a rating.
    Learn to play The Want Ad by Pandora's Box with GuitarTuna

    Master The Want Ad by Pandora's Box on guitar and explore 10000 tabs created by our verified editors.

    Whether you're learning The Want Ad by Pandora's Box for the first time or perfecting your skills, GuitarTuna makes it easier to practice across guitar, bass and piano. Join 2 Million musicians already playing songs they love on GuitarTuna. Rated 4/5 on App Store.

    Autoscroll20%

    Join millions playing with GuitarTuna

    • #1 Tuner

      in AppStore & Google Play

    • +

      AppStore & Play rating

    • M

      Downloads worldwide

    • k+

      Songs available

    Trusted by guitar players worldwide

    • Best Tuning App Ever

      MaddProfessor

      I've downloaded many tuning apps before and this one is by far the best. Easy to use, super user-friendly, and they have a bunch of fun different chords and songs to help you learn new music. I highly recommend.

    • Well-Designed App

      Rose the Black Cat

      I mostly use this for tuning my guitar, which this app makes ridiculously easy. It also has a large selection of songs to play along to and it helps show you which chords to play as well how to make the shapes with your fingers.

    • Got me back into playing

      Tuliketsune

      I got this app to tune an old guitar, and noticed it has a feature that autoscrolls as I play chords to famous songs. For some reason, this was a lot more motivating for me than any other way of practicing guitar. Now I'm actually practicing and remembering the names of chords 🙂

    • Secret weapon

      Brad

      Not only is it a tuner (best app tuner I've used personally) but it also has a metronome, games, chords, and a plethora of instruments to choose from and it's SUPER easy to navigate. I love it! Thanks for making an awesome app. From one musician to another, THANKS!!!

    • Very reliable tuner

      theNewPaul

      This is a great app! Very easy to use and very reliable, if you are just starting out, you can take a big worry off your mind, by getting in tune quickly and easily with this app. Highly recommended!

    • This is the best guitar tuner ever.

      Caleb Schafli

      It tunes your guitar accurately so you can get the best sound. I like all the other little games as well because they teach you how to play different chords and you can learn to identify the chords by listening to them and it is all offline.

    • Great to tune and play

      Lynae T

      I love how easy it is to tune and find and play my favorite songs.