Stop Me (If You've Heard This One Before) chords by
Glenn Cardier

N/A

Key: C minor•

Verse 1
Cm Cm 3
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G G 
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So this guy walks into a bar,
Cm Cm 3
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this blonde is driving in her car
G G 
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This Australian falls down a well,
Cm Cm 3
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there's a thousand jokes that I can tell
Fm Fm 
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I step up to the microphone,
Bb Bb 
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I stand before you on my own.
Fm Fm 
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Cm Cm 3
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Well now ladies and gentlemen,
G G 
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Cm Cm 3
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let's hear it for the comedian.
G G 
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I flash a grin, I give a wink
Cm Cm 3
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I'm not as confident as you might think
G G 
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I've a tendency to slur my words
Cm Cm 3
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When I've had a touch too much to drink
Fm Fm 
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I come on looking like happi
Bb Bb 
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ness personified
Cm Cm 3
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G G 
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Crackin' gags, rapid fire
Cm Cm 3
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B B 2
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If the truth be told, I'm terrified
Bb Bb 
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Eb Eb 6
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Have you heard the one about the guy
G G 
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Who tries to make them laugh
Cm Cm 3
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but makes them cry
B B 2
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Bb Bb 
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Who will win them over,
Eb Eb 6
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that's for sure
G G 
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They'll call for more
Stop me if you've heard
Eb Eb 6
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Cm Cm 3
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this one before
There are those who try
G G 
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mountain climbing
Cm Cm 3
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There are those who try a life of crime
I thought I could make
G G 
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the whole world laugh
Cm Cm 3
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Seemed like a good idea at the time
Fm Fm 
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There are those who go into dentistry
Bb Bb 
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Get their thrills from drilling teeth
Cm Cm 3
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G G 
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I know a thing or two about misery
My line of work is comedy
Cm Cm 3
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B B 2
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Bb Bb 
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Oh, have you heard the
Eb Eb 6
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one about the guy
G G 
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Who tries to make them laugh
Cm Cm 3
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but makes them cry
B B 2
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Bb Bb 
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Oh, that will be the moment
Eb Eb 6
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that's for sure
G G 
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They'll call for more
Cm Cm 3
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Stop me if you've heard this one, baby
G G 
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I face the silence of an empty room
Cm Cm 3
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I face the darkness once again
G G 
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It's a shame that they all stayed away
And missed my clever
Cm Cm 3
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double on a torn dress
Fm Fm 
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They should have come
in from the cold
Bb Bb 
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Tonight I got it goin' good as gold
Cm Cm 3
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G G 
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Tonight's the night that I will tell
Cm Cm 3
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The funniest story ever told
Oh, Roy
B B 2
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Bb Bb 
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Have you heard the one about the guy
Eb Eb 6
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G G 
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Who tries to make them laugh
Cm Cm 3
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but makes them cry?
B B 2
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Bb Bb 
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Oh man, well we're no more
but that's for sure
Eb Eb 6
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G G 
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A little call for more
Stop me if you've heard this one before
Cm Cm 3
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Oh love,
have you heard this one before?
Stop me if you've heard this one before