of my life
And the most I ever did was
see the doc
And the doc told me that my
back was alright
He had initials in his shirt,
he had a nice expensive watch
I thought he knew what he was doing or
at least what was right
He made me fill a piece of paper out
with different questions all about
My health,
wellbeing and the state of my life
I'll told the truth,
I'm only lying to myself if I should lie
So, I answered everything and did my best
to keep it real in between the lines
I gave it back to him,
he took his time and read the paper over once or twice
He looked at me as if to say, "I
need to tell you something"
"And don't prepare for me
to tell you something nice"
He wanted to know just how
much I tend to drink and smoke
I told him how it was and then he
gave me this ad vice
He said, "Ease up on stress,
you don't help yourself much"
"It's too intense for you to take,
you'll only tense up"
"And you see you have these issues
and you struggle to relax"
"So you come see me the doctor
to get something for your back"
"But this piece of paper tells me that there's
more that you should address"
"I see some anger in you,
plus addiction, plus the rest"
"I feel like we should speak about this
'fore it comes first"
"And I know a lot of people who can help,
for what it's worth"
I said, "I don't know if you don't understand,
man, my back just fucking hurts"
Do I need physiotherapy? Or
is it something worse?
He paused and then he asked me what
I thought we should do
I said, "If I knew that, I wouldn't be here,
man, I'm asking you"
He handed me to someone who
gave me a blood test
Who handed me to someone else who took my payment
and took all of my fucking patience
I should add at this point the doctor had
already left
And I resented that man,
I never went back to him again
But you know,
in a weird way, I feel like maybe he was right
I may be using my back pain
to distract from the pain of life
Feel it all externally when really
it's just inside
Pro crastinating, confrontation,
every single time
So thank you Mr. Doctor
Man, I'm now being sincere
I guess I just didn't wanna hear what I didn't wanna
hear, okay