The Waiter And The Porter And The Upstairs Maid chords by Bing Crosby & His Friends
Verse 1
Bbdim
B
Em
Now we come nex
t to a recording
featuring a smart little trio
composed of Mary Martin, Jack
Teagarden and myself.
We make up a little group
G
C
known as the waiter, the porter
and the upstairs maid.
D
Am
I'm fairly positive that Miss Martin
G
D
takes the part of the maid.
C
This was done when Mary was
D
dodging about the Hollywoodlands
and was some years before
G
Em
she rocked the world
C
G
as the ensign, Nellie Forbush.
Em
C
D
A
D
C
As your genial host,
may I offer a toast
G
Am
to the wine -buying guest on my right.
A
D
Hooray for the wine -buyer!
Em
A
Yes, drag out the cook and sherry
D
for the old colonel.
G
C
May his bank account grow,
G
C
heavy laden with dough.
D
A
D
May he spend it in here every night,
every night.
G
B
Em
Seeing this night in its glory,
B
Em
you people so loyal, so true,
D#
D
Puts me in mind of a story.
Em
A
D
Tell us about it, pray do.
G
The people in the ballroom
Am
Em
D
were stuffy and arty,
Am
G
Em
A
So I began to get just a little bit frayed
D
G
Am
I sneaked into the kitchen,
Em
G
B
I dug me a party
A
G
Em
The waiter and the porter
C
D
and the second story maid
G
Am
I peeked into the parlor
Em
G
C
to see what was a hatchin'
G
Em
In time to hear the hostess
A
suggest a charade
D
G
Am
But who was in the pantry
Em
C
a -laughin' and scratchin'?
Am
G
Oh, waiter and the porter
Em
D
an d the upstairs maid
G
D
G
When they heard the music
that the orchestra played
C
The waiter and the porter
grabbed ahold of the maid.
Em
Then they all proceeded
A
E
to go into a clog.
Em
D
Em
A diggity -dog!
G
C
G
Em
C
If ever I'm invited to some fuddy -duddies,
G
Em
I ain't a -gonna watch
A
any harlequinade.
D
G
C
You'll find him in the kitchen,
Am
G
applaudin' his buddies,
C
Em
The waiter, and the porter,
A
D
and the upstairs maid
G
D#
C
.
Well, pardon me, folks,
A
Em
the roast is carved,
C
the wine is served,
why you look half -starved.
G
C
G
Pardon me, sir, may we be free?
Am
A
D
The kitchen guard is having a jamboree.
G
C
Eb
G
C#dim
C
D#
D
I
G
C
went and got a dishpan
to use as a symbol.
G
Em
The porter found a regular
A
glass that he played.
D
G
C
The fingers of the waiter
G
C
were each in a thimble
G
Em
You should have heard the music
C
D
Em
C#dim
that the combination made
C
Em
C
B
Em
C
Em
B
Em
G
Marchin' through the kitchen
D
G
to the pantry and back
C
Well, man, you should have seen us,
G
C
we were ballin' the jack
A
Em
Once a half an hour passed without any call,
E
D
Em
Jack, we had a ball.
G
C
The waltzes and mazurkas,
D
we hate them, we spurn them.
G
Em
We got a lot of rhythms,
A
we want to hear play.
D
G
C
Yes, and we know who to go to
Am
D
when we want to learn them.
G
The waiter and the porter
Em
A
D
and the upstairs man.
The Waiter And The Porter And The Upstairs Maid
Bing Crosby & His Friends
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